Religion

I was going to write a post about my cruise to Mexico, or about my awesome friend Koas, but then I knew what I had to write about first.
People never cease to amaze me.
Everyday I am surrounded by so much ignorance and so much hate that I want to scream. It sometimes feels like I'm in one of those great but depressing sci-fi movies where the society is so corrupt and only a small percentage of the population actually understand how corrupted it is.
I realize that I'm exaggerating, but I'm a writer (or at least I try to be). I'm allowed to go crazy with my imagination on a daily basis.

Not everyone in our school is a Christian. In fact, a large number of the students are atheist or agnostic.
I myself don't claim any religion fully. I consider myself to be a very spiritual person, and I am very happy to live this way. My parents and brother are Christians, but we don't go to church anymore. We embrace the philosophy that going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.
I have observed throughout the years, especially in middle school, that many "Christians" judged, ridiculed, and bullied other children even though they claimed to be very close to God.

Religion is such a funny thing.
It turns people against each other, even if they are a part of the same religion. It topples governments and crushes cities. Countless people have died or murdered in the name of faith.
Religion can make people crazy. Not all people, of course, but it has the potential.

My mom and I talk about many controversial topics, and yesterday we talked about religion.
I am very lucky to have a mother and a father who have never imposed any beliefs on me.
My mom and I talked about how crazy it is to think that any single religion is totally correct. Christianity, in the scheme of things, is a fairly new religion. Who is to say that the ancient Egyptians weren't right? Or the ancient Greeks?
Because of this, I embrace the Buddhist philosophy that gods are different depending on the time period and various cultural aspects. I think that there is certain wisdom in any of the world's religions, both past and present.

What I cannot comprehend is how some people get so worked up over religious issues.
So someone believes differently than you. Guess what? They are no more right or wrong than you are. 
No one knows what is after this life. Maybe we are born again. Maybe our soul leaves our body and rests eternally in a divine realm. The point is, no one can know for sure, so it is pointless to fight over it.

The other day in class, a boy said something about being agnostic. Another boy snapped at him and said that he was disrespecting his God.
People like the second boy are why I want to live on an island. All by myself, away from the ignorance.
Just because that is your God does not mean that is my God.

What I want more than anything is an accepting society, no matter how impossible that is.

I'll close this post with a quote from one of our presidents and founding fathers, Thomas Jefferson.

Millions of innocent men, women and children, since the introduction of Christianity, have been burnt, tortured, fined and imprisoned; yet we have not advanced one inch towards uniformity.
-Thomas Jefferson, Notes on Virginia, 1782

Peace, love, and scary movies,
Sara

What I Believe

I have written this post at least three times now, and never published a single one of them. They end up as lonely drafts on my "posts" page, and I don't revisit them again.
But today, I feel like posting it. I don't care if it means losing followers, either.
From the very start of this blog, I've said that this is for me. It's a project that continuously documents my life, and I don't sugar coat. I also don't omit any of my views, opinions, or beliefs.
That being said, I'm going to talk about my religious views.

I was raised a Christian. I went to church on Sunday, I took part in the youth group, I went on mission trips. But in the sixth grade, at the start of a terrible depression, I started to question things.
I questioned God's existence, among other things, and I felt horrible. I mean, the Christian belief is what I was raised with! It was a part of my life, and thinking for just one moment that it could all just be a very clever and elaborate story hurt me. So I stopped questioning it. I tried to move past the questions.
It's worth noting that I live in the south. People here are, for the most part, very religious and very conservative.
One day, a friend of mine asked me if I had been "saved", which is another way of saying 'baptized' in case anyone didn't know. I told her that I hadn't been, and she basically acted as if I was going to hell unless I got "saved". For a while, I let that get to me. I was worried about dying before I was baptized. And then it occurred to me. The God that I believed in wasn't that cruel or unforgiving. The God that I believed in did not condemn people to hell just because they worshiped in different ways or didn't get baptized.
As I got older, I realized that I didn't agree with many of the views of the church. I also saw how hypocritical many "Christians" could be. I saw how much they judged, and openly hated people. Now, I'm not saying every Christian is like this. My mother isn't this way.
There were just so many things that I didn't agree with.

Once, I got into a huge argument with one of my friends because he said that anyone who wasn't a Christian would be condemned to hell.
I don't believe that for a second.
Just because someone is born into a Jewish family, does not mean that they are going to be sent to hell.
I mean, come on.
But this guy, he told me that anyone who didn't buy into Christianity was going to hell.

Around the same time, I was beginning to see the blind hatred and ignorance towards homosexuals.
I heard so much about, "They choose to be gay! It's a choice!"
Why in the hell would you choose to be gay? I mean, if it was a choice I might be gay just to prove a point, but I'm not. I'm straight, and I support gay rights because gay rights are human rights. End of story.
I don't give a damn that it's in the bible. The bible was written hundreds of years ago and it wasn't written by God or Jesus. So to use it as a consistent argument to condemn homosexuality is ludicrous. This is, in fact, the same bible in which women are not seen as equals to men.

It was all of these things, and more, that led me to have beliefs of my own.
So, I have decided to outline my major beliefs right now.

1. I believe in the existence of a God, but I don't have a religion to go with it.
   There are many different religions that believe in a singular god who is very similar to the Christian version of God. 
2. Christianity is a fairly new religion when you look at the many different religions throughout history. 
3. I believe in science, evolution, etc. Not that you can't believe in those things and still be a Christian, because you can. 
4. I believe in a God that does not punish people for who they love. Also, you can be a Christian and believe that being gay is a-okay. My mom does, and she's Christian. Thank you, mom, for sharing many of my same ideals. 
5. I don't know what comes after this life, but I don't imagine that I'll care too much since I'll be dead when I find out. As Peter Pan said, "To die will be the greatest adventure of all".
6. I believe that there is so much that we just don't know. 
7. I am perfectly happy with my idea of God. 

Those are only a few of my beliefs, but they do a good job of summing it up.

Peace, love, and Taco Bell,
Sara

Empathetic

We all see pain in everyday situations. Sometimes it's in the eyes of strangers, or the way our closest friend's shoulders seem to sag with an invisible weight. We feel pain ourselves most days. Not necessarily pain of the physical variety, but the type of pain that hits us closest. The pain that stabs each of our hearts.
From as far back as I can remember, other people's pain has affected me.
I guess I inherited such a strong sense of empathy from my mother, and at times it's both a blessing and a curse.
When a friend of mine told me how depressed he'd been in the seventh grade, and that he'd cut his wrists, I felt like someone had punched me in the gut. Here was someone who was right in front of me for those terrible years in middle school, and I had no idea. I had no idea that his pain pushed him to the edge. And so, I beat myself up about it for a few weeks. It seemed to me that I should have been able to see it. I should have been able to help in some way.
I guess it's a very good thing to be so touched by the pain of others. I know it means that I'm not ignorant, and that is one thing I know I'll never be. People who cannot fathom the concept that not everyone believes the same things as they do can't possibly understand what I'm talking about.
I know it isn't right to hate anyone, but when I see the way that people act towards anyone who has a different view than they do, I can't help but loathe them a little bit.
Especially the way people act towards anyone who isn't straight.
I see people everyday who are so ignorant as to believe that homosexuality is a contagious disease.
If they were referring to love being a disease that none of us can help, then they would be correct. Sadly, they aren't. They are perfectly content to live with such a pointlessly negative attitude.
My mom told me to read a note that one of her friends posted to facebook. In the post, he talked about how he grew up going to church and the way people reacted to his sexuality. I don't even think I was a fourth of the way down the page when I started crying. If I can't hate people, then I'll hate society. Obviously hate of any nature doesn't make things any better for anyone, but society is to blame for all of this. I felt so sick to my stomach after reading his note. Yes, it was extremely touching and inspiring, but it was also so heartbreaking.
No one should ever be told they are wrong for falling in love.
If I were lesbian, I know I'd have all of my friends behind me. I know that my family, for the most part, would stand by me. But so many people don't have that luxury, and they should.
Once, I was eating lunch in the cafeteria at school. A boy at the table I was sitting at said something very negative and entirely wrong about gay people. I turned to him and said, "Being gay isn't wrong." and he stopped whatever he was saying and said to me, "Being gay is wrong. They can either die or change." People like him are responsible for the high rate of teen suicide among the LGBT youth. People like him are the people that I have to try my hardest not to hate. And you know what? God bless anyone who comes out of the closet in a town with assholes like that guy in it. When he said that, I had to get up from the table and go to the bathroom. It took every ounce of self control in my being not to punch the crap out of him right then and there.
But I have hope for our generation. I sincerely do.
If I ever have children, I hope they grow up in a society much different than the one I grew up in.

I want to thank my mother for letting me make up my own mind about my personal beliefs.
Thanks mom, for not beating me over the head with the bible and for letting me have my own opinions on controversial topics. You truly are my biggest role model, and I love you more than anything.
It's been very interesting, growing up in a house with a mom who is a democrat and a dad who is a republican. But you know what? At least I know that without a doubt, I decided for myself what I believed in.
Obviously I'm a democrat, and I'll be one for my entire life. So many teens and kids that I know just blindly went with whatever their parents told them. So thanks, for making sure I had a good, albeit hard head on my shoulders.

Peace, Love, and Standing Up for What You Believe In,
Sara