Morning!

I realized that my blog post yesterday was a little bit more negative than I had originally planned. But, I can't be happy all the time just like I can't be positive all the time.
You know, so many people are so quick to judge you for what you've done to them. But they never look at the situation from both sides. They never put themselves in your shoes, and they never try to figure out what they've done wrong. That's why real friends are hard to come by.

I live by this philosophy: Never write angry, because you'll most certainly regret your words later.
I think I've tried to live by that since elementary school, when it lost me a friend that meant more to me than I even knew how to express.

Words are powerful. Very powerful.

We've all heard the saying, "Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me." And I say that who ever wrote that was an idiot.
I would much rather have a broken bone than have to hear words said out of anger all day. Because words affect me. They affect me deeply. In fact, if I were a super hero, that would be my weakness.
Because I used to love people. I really did. But then, after I was stepped on so many times, I saw how little they thought I was worth. Those few people thought I was worth.
But in my mind, when I hear just one negative thing that someone's said about me, I wonder if it's true. I know that sounds ridiculous.  You're probably thinking, "How can you not know yourself?"
Let me tell you, I wonder that same thing all the time.

I'm about to let you all in on a secret.

I'm a door mat.
Yep, there it is. That's the secret.
I let people use me and walk all over me because secretly, I just want to be accepted. Luckily, I'm beginning to change that. But I'm making very slow progress.
Sometime soon, I'll  be going to a psychiatrist. Why? Because I have terrible anxiety. And I've already told you this before, but just a brief summary for those who weren't with us. I worry about everything. I worry about things that don't even make sense to worry about. Just because someone looks fine on the outside doesn't mean they aren't breaking into pieces on the inside.
We should all keep that in mind every single day.
There's always a back story.

Back to the point.
I struggle with so many things.
Sometimes, when I hear bad things that someone's saying about me, I tend to believe it. Doesn't matter if it makes sense or not, I just do. And it's stupid.
Sometimes I wonder if I have a good heart, even though I know I do. I know because I have a pretty big conscience that starts weighing me down when I've done something wrong.

Peace, love, and Jiminy Cricket,
     Sara