A Post for Koas

I don’t have any pictures of us together goofing off, or just being nutters (heh), but you happen to be one of my greatest friends. As part one of your Christmas present, I’d like to write you a post in letter form that expresses my gratefulness for your existence.
Ready.
Set.
Go!

(Please enjoy this picture of Koas which I edited as a comic book panel.)
(Also, I stole it from his Facebook profile)
(I’m such a bad person)

Dear Koas/British Buddy/awesome guy,
                                                       I knew you were cool as soon as you killed me on Call of Duty. See, normally I might have been mad, but how can anyone be mad at someone who is not only hilarious, but also has an English accent? That’s right. You can’t. I know how annoying I must’ve been in the beginning when I could hardly understand what you were saying to me. I was naïve enough to think that every English person sounded like the actors on Harry Potter, but that is clearly not the case. For whatever reason, you continued to talk to the crazy American girl who is slightly mad and who can never finish sentences properly when she talks.
There are a few things I have learned from you, and I’m going to list those:

1. The time difference between here and Oxfordshire. Without even thinking anymore, I know what time it is for you vs. what time it is for me and the likelihood that you are still awake. Also, time differences suck. Majorly.
2. I now understand many British slang words. However cool they may be, I’d look stupid using them here, so I refrain.
3. Geography. Now I understand more about where things are located in England, and in Europe period.
4. Minecraft. You were the first person who told me about it, even before my friends knew of the beautiful game.
5. How much a postcard costs to mail. I love going to the post office and telling them that I need a letter mailed to England.
6. The cost of living in London. I have done extensive research on the matter, as I plan on living there one day.
7. How Americans are perceived in other countries.
8. How not every place on this planet is as close minded as some of the places I know.

You have an awesome taste in music as well, and you’ve introduced me to countless amazing bands which I listen to on a daily basis. Also, we are going to have to make a cover as soon as I get a mic and a reliable software, so prepare yourself, good sir.
You also give me hope for an amazing future. I know that sounds corny, but it’s true. When I think of all the places I’ll go and all of the amazing people that I’ll meet later in my life, it makes me so happy. Somehow, knowing you has made the world both even larger and even smaller than I had known before. Larger, because you have become the boy who lives in my computer and always has hilarious stories to tell me about life across the pond. Larger, because I can’t hop in my car and drive five minutes down the road to hang out with you. Smaller, because even though I know you’re thousands of miles away, it never feels like that to me. Smaller, because I was lucky enough to find such cool person on Xbox.
Thank you, Koas, for sticking around in my life and for making me laugh on my worst days. I know that I can be really crazy sometimes, but thanks for toughing it out anyway. You’re one of my best friends despite the time difference and the thousands of miles of ocean and land in between our separate parts of the globe.
Peace, love, and learning to type even faster,
Sara

Letter number two: Memories of sun and rain

Dear Ballpark Day,

That day the rain came out of no where. It poured out of the previously sunny sky like someone had turned a giant water tap as far as it would go. It beat down on the slanted roof of the concession stand. It showered across the baseball fields and everyone seemed to forget why we'd been there in the first place. Some people ran under the cover of the small over hangs, others ran the long distance back to their cars. All games were called off due to the surprise rain storm. The usual drab looking ball park had been transformed into a sort of watery wonderland in mere minutes. 

Water built up in large puddles on the concrete. Children laughed wildly, we were among them. We were soaked through and through, but we ran, happy and care free through the puddles. Mom wanted to leave right then, but we stalled for time. Racing around the ballpark without a single care in the world. 

Our hair was drenched. I didn't stop running even to wring mine out. The dust from the baseball fields had turned  into thick reddish mud. The players slipped and slid in it, trying to get as dirty as they possibly could. 

The sun shone through the thick rain clouds in places, coloring the entire scene in a yellowish-brown hue. 

And as the rain began to subside, gone as quickly as it had come, we stood at the corner of an over hang. Letting the water drip down on us. The two of us looked as if we had jumped into the river with all of our clothes on. When the rain had gone and it was time to go, we clambered into the backseat and sat in our soaked clothes.
If there were a jar filled with my favorite days, that would be one of them.

                             I'll always remember, 

                                                  Sara

Letter number one: A Goodbye

I've decided to start writing letters sometimes to people that won't ever read them. Some of you will know exactly who I'm talking about, and others won't. But that's the point. It's letters that won't ever be read by the person they are written for.
Here is my first letter. I'll try to make it easy to understand what happened to those of you who don't know me personally. It's going to be a lot harder to write this than I thought.

Dear 3rd grade,

I don't know what happened to us, I really and truly don't. I know that we've both had hard times. I know that you weren't there when I needed you. Scratch that. You're never there period. You never stand up for me, ever. In fact, half the time, you're one of the ones that knocks me down.
When we were in third grade, I had the biggest crush on you. I still had a crush on you in the fourth grade, part of fifth, and at some point during sixth. I never wanted to give up on you.
An a part of me still doesn't want to give up. But I don't like you in the same way anymore. Actually, for a while last year I thought I liked you until I realized that I can't depend on you. The friends that I surround myself with are stable. They're the rocks that I can hold onto when things get tough for me. And, I'm sure you don't know this because you don't care, but things get tough for me a lot. I make things tough for myself.
For all of last semester, I wanted you to just accept me. Just accept me as a friend. That's all I wanted from you. And you couldn't even do that much. One day you told me, "I'm so awful to people, I don't know how I have friends." And I laughed, and said that you have friends because you're a good person. I still stand by that. I think you're a great person. You just probably aren't the type of person that can handle all of my craziness, and at the end of the day still be my friend. All you ever do is make fun of me. My laugh, how silly I am, etc. I don't need that. I don't need someone like that in my life.  You don't even know the first thing about me. You don't know how hard it is for me to even be myself around people. You take me for granted, and I don't deserve that.
My best friend told me in the car today, "I tried hard to like him because you clearly still hang out with him, but the way he treats you makes me mad." Or something along those lines, I don't remember word for word.
And you know what? She's exactly right. When it comes to trusting people, sure it takes me a while, but once I trust someone it's hard for me to back away from them.
I have told you so much. I used to come home and look forward to getting on facebook just to vent about something to you. And now we hardly speak.
It's amazing to me, how we were so close years ago, and now you just don't care.
All I wanted, was for us to be back to the way we used to be. It used to be so easy to talk to you, and now it's like talking to a wall. I never know which side of you I might be talking to. I never know where I stand.
Now I know that, as much as I hate it, I have to give up on you.
When I started trying to be your friend again in the sixth grade, you pushed me away. I had no friends, no one to talk to, I was miserable. And you pushed me away.
You were so wrapped up in your music. And you're great, don't get me wrong. It's everything to you. It takes up so much of your  life, that you don't even see the people around you. I love music, I love so many things, but my friends and family? They always come first. I love them more than anything. They've made me who I am today. Someone that isn't afraid to stand up for herself when no one else will.
You say things sometimes so sarcastic and hateful, that it's hard to tell if you're kidding. You told me that you didn't know who would marry someone like me. Thanks for that by the way. It really boosted my self esteem.
Practically right up through the roof.
And when I was sad about that, when I let that get to me, I didn't show it. It was Kimberlee that said something. And you acted as if we should have known you were kidding. You told me, "You can't act like a sensitive girl when you hang around this many guys."
Thanks a lot dear sir, but I think I can handle myself just fine around guys. They do make up most of my friends. Never once, have any of my other guy friends hurt my feelings the way that you hurt my feelings every single day.
And I won't let it happen anymore. Because I'm done with you. I'm done with wanting you to accept me.
You've had a billion chances to just treat me like a friend, and you've failed every single time.
You let me down.
The funny thing is, I can't bring myself to hate you. I can't even dislike you. I can't bring myself to hate something I used to love, more as a friend than anything else.
If you ever read this, I think you might laugh at me. Go ahead and laugh, I'm done with you.
I'm done with you not accepting me. I'm done with you not appreciating me.
If you can find it in yourself to be a man and say you're sorry for all of this, go for it. But you should know that even if you did, it would be a very long time until I trusted you again.


                         I tried,
                              Someone that used to think the world of you