Vultures

Don't you love the days when you pull out a pack of gum at school (very discreetly of course) and within no more than five seconds, everyone seems to know you and your pack of gum personally?
It happens to me all the time.
But fear not, good readers! There are many ways to stop this problem. The way you go about ending this madness is more about personal preference than anything else.
Before you decide to take action, you should probably learn a little bit more about the actual vulture.
Below is a list of the top three most common Gum Beggars you may run into in life's many adventures.

• Buddy-Buddy-Bugs-You: Probably the most famous type of gum pack offender. These are the people who do the entire act of pretending to be one of your good friends in order to get some gum. These are not to be confused with the actual Best Friend Vultures who can use the best friend card to have a piece. Common phrases used by this group include, "I promise I'll give you a piece tomorrow" and "Pretty pretty please with sugar on top?" 
• Pity Stare:  This sort of person will find your weaknesses and use them to their advantage. Compassionate person? They'll use the Pity Stare. Essentially, whenever a pack of gum is opened in front of them, they use their biggest asset: the eyes. Suddenly, you have to feel just a little bit sorry for them. You think of all the times you may have said something rude to them and you think, What the hey! I'll just give them a piece. They are a very dangerous type of vulture, and should be avoided at all costs.
• Teleporters: These are both the most uncommon and the most obnoxious of all the vultures. They seem to appear out of thin air at the very sound of a gum wrapper being opened. It's almost as if some sort of instinct is deeply embedded into their DNA that allows them to know where gum is located. They don't have to know you, and you don't have to know them, but they will find you. 

I recommend a variety of choices while dealing with these monsters.

1. Always carry a small water spritz bottle with you. When they ask for gum? Squirt them with it. Easy, simple, and it works with cats as well. Although, cats don't generally try to take your gum from you.
2. Begin to make very strange, gargling noises. Not only will they wonder what's wrong with you, but if the noise is done correctly, they may be scared out of their mind. 
3. Just say, "MEHHHHHH?"  They'll leave quickly, trust me.
4. For the more violent type, I suggest keeping a small pouch of pebbles on hand. No one likes having a handful of pebbles thrown on them.
5. Pepper spray.
6. Just say NO! 

Sadly, these people do exist. They pray on those who actually remember to buy gum and make their lives miserable.
Please, stop the torture. Reach into your pocket and for just a few hundred dollars a month, you can be the voice of those who fall victim to this behavior. Put an end to the madness.

Peace, Love, and Random Posts,
                                                        Sara

The Possessed Trashcan

I apologize for not having blogged in a very long time, you'll all just have to try and forgive me :)
Last night, as some of you may have already read on Facebook, I won the audience favorite at a songwriter's contest in Franklin. Needless to say, I'm ecstatic about it! Especially because after I performed, a lady gave me her card and asked me if I would be interested in playing at her coffee house. I believe the answer to that is a big fat YES! :) Later this week I'll call her and fill you in on how that goes :)

My schedule has been so filled lately, I'm so stressed out over everything that's going on right now, but it's not all that terrible. All I really have to worry about is meeting the deadlines for my English paper and finish reading Huck Finn (basically) by Friday.

I know I'm hopping around from topic to topic in no particular order, but I feel like I have to let all of you know what's been going on with me even though most likely, none of you care and would rather me get on to the actual post. Pretty much, what I would like to talk about in this tiny little paragraph, is how stupid guys can be. Yep, guys are stupid, and we all know this. Now that so many people I actually know in real life read my blog, I feel like it's necessary to shut out a lot of my personal life that would have normally been written out very lengthily for all of you to read. Honestly, I just don't want to have to answer any questions about who exactly I was referring to when I said blah bleh blah. So instead what I'll do, is just post what I was going to say today on Friday. it really makes no difference, but oh well.

Now on to the post.

Last night was incredibly fun, even though I did feel very nauseous for the first half. The great news is that I think I'm slowly getting over my stage fright. Turns out I really love singing and playing in front of people, it was just a matter of facing my fears :)  The best part to me, is right after you start playing or singing or whatever, and everyone just stops talking. It's pretty awesome when they applaud of course, but that one second when no one's really saying much, that's my favorite part.

At the restaurant, there was a very possessed trashcan in the women's room. It had a motion-detector , but somehow it had gotten messed up. From the moment I opened the door, the lid of the trashcan just kept going up and coming down. It was on the second trip to the bathroom (my bladder has issues) that I named this comical trashcan Franklin. Hey, I had to keep the nerves away somehow...right?
Anyways, right after opening the door, Franklin was all like, "Hey! What's happenin', Soul Sister!" (but really the only sounds he made was *chick, whir, snap*). Yeah, me and Franklin really hit it off. Honestly, that trashcan probably has more sense than most people I know.
Oh well, sorry for this incredibly pointless, stupid, awful post. I'll get back to my regular posting eventually, next on my agenda is to write another post for MU. :D

Peace, love, and talkative waste-baskets,
                                                                   Sara

Speed Pee

You all probably looked at the title and thought, wth? And for the majority of the post...you're still going to think that :)

There are a total of five minutes in between classes at my school, which means that if you have to pee? Forget about it. It ain't happenin'. So when I come back from lunch and hurry to get to Hell (aka Geometry), I throw my stuff down and make a dash for the convenient closet type bathroom in the actual room. It's one of those bathrooms where you feel like you have to be about 30 pounds just to fit inside it.
Is anyone else always late for class thanks to their bladder? Fear not, slightly grossed out readers! I give you the secret to speed peeing. (Guys, you don't even have to read this. You have it easier than us.)

Step one: Never, ever, wait in line. Just push right on through all of those freshman clogging up the mirrors and find yourself a stall!

Step two: Don't let someone beat you to the said stall. If they do, kindly explain to them that your bladder is about to explode if you don't go pee right this moment. Or you can say that you're going to be sick. That usually makes people flee.

Step three: Once in the stall, waste no time on hanging your purse on the little hook that sometimes isn't on the back of the door. Throw your purse on the ground! But obviously not if the ground is nasty. No one wants a purse with chewed, slobbery gum all over the bottom.

Step four: Once on the toilet, play this song in your head. It makes sure you don't take your sweet time :)

Step four: Flush the toilet with the bottom of your shoe (like a ninja) and grab your purse. It's time for the mad dash back to class :)

Peace, love, and stalls that don't lock,
                                                          Sara

A Few Random Thoughts

•  Foreign friends are really cool, and fun to talk to :)
• I love how a lot of gas stations in America find it appropriate to display condoms over the sinks in Women's bathrooms. (Sarcasm)
• It's not comfortable to sleep between bleachers at school. 
• Our lunch food has absolutely no salt content and is terrible.
• I really love the idea for my current novel :)
• I feel like I should just sleep for a couple of years, then wake up and restart my life. 
• No one should ever feel like anyone is better than them. 
• Seriously, you aren't hot. 
• I have a notebook full of letters that I've written to a few select people, that I never plan on showing them.
• Why is it that some people are so hypocritical and don't even realize it?
• I should take up meditation. 
• It's not that I want people to like me, I just want people to accept me exactly the way I am. 
• I will never marry a republican. 
• I don't see myself having a boyfriend until college. 
• ^ Because, I want something a little more substantial that some stupid fling with a guy that doesn't really care. 
• I don't understand how people that talk so much about peace, can be so obsessed with hate.
• I get tired of the way people act in this town

Peace, love, and gas station condoms,

                                                              ~Sara