Empathetic

We all see pain in everyday situations. Sometimes it's in the eyes of strangers, or the way our closest friend's shoulders seem to sag with an invisible weight. We feel pain ourselves most days. Not necessarily pain of the physical variety, but the type of pain that hits us closest. The pain that stabs each of our hearts.
From as far back as I can remember, other people's pain has affected me.
I guess I inherited such a strong sense of empathy from my mother, and at times it's both a blessing and a curse.
When a friend of mine told me how depressed he'd been in the seventh grade, and that he'd cut his wrists, I felt like someone had punched me in the gut. Here was someone who was right in front of me for those terrible years in middle school, and I had no idea. I had no idea that his pain pushed him to the edge. And so, I beat myself up about it for a few weeks. It seemed to me that I should have been able to see it. I should have been able to help in some way.
I guess it's a very good thing to be so touched by the pain of others. I know it means that I'm not ignorant, and that is one thing I know I'll never be. People who cannot fathom the concept that not everyone believes the same things as they do can't possibly understand what I'm talking about.
I know it isn't right to hate anyone, but when I see the way that people act towards anyone who has a different view than they do, I can't help but loathe them a little bit.
Especially the way people act towards anyone who isn't straight.
I see people everyday who are so ignorant as to believe that homosexuality is a contagious disease.
If they were referring to love being a disease that none of us can help, then they would be correct. Sadly, they aren't. They are perfectly content to live with such a pointlessly negative attitude.
My mom told me to read a note that one of her friends posted to facebook. In the post, he talked about how he grew up going to church and the way people reacted to his sexuality. I don't even think I was a fourth of the way down the page when I started crying. If I can't hate people, then I'll hate society. Obviously hate of any nature doesn't make things any better for anyone, but society is to blame for all of this. I felt so sick to my stomach after reading his note. Yes, it was extremely touching and inspiring, but it was also so heartbreaking.
No one should ever be told they are wrong for falling in love.
If I were lesbian, I know I'd have all of my friends behind me. I know that my family, for the most part, would stand by me. But so many people don't have that luxury, and they should.
Once, I was eating lunch in the cafeteria at school. A boy at the table I was sitting at said something very negative and entirely wrong about gay people. I turned to him and said, "Being gay isn't wrong." and he stopped whatever he was saying and said to me, "Being gay is wrong. They can either die or change." People like him are responsible for the high rate of teen suicide among the LGBT youth. People like him are the people that I have to try my hardest not to hate. And you know what? God bless anyone who comes out of the closet in a town with assholes like that guy in it. When he said that, I had to get up from the table and go to the bathroom. It took every ounce of self control in my being not to punch the crap out of him right then and there.
But I have hope for our generation. I sincerely do.
If I ever have children, I hope they grow up in a society much different than the one I grew up in.

I want to thank my mother for letting me make up my own mind about my personal beliefs.
Thanks mom, for not beating me over the head with the bible and for letting me have my own opinions on controversial topics. You truly are my biggest role model, and I love you more than anything.
It's been very interesting, growing up in a house with a mom who is a democrat and a dad who is a republican. But you know what? At least I know that without a doubt, I decided for myself what I believed in.
Obviously I'm a democrat, and I'll be one for my entire life. So many teens and kids that I know just blindly went with whatever their parents told them. So thanks, for making sure I had a good, albeit hard head on my shoulders.

Peace, Love, and Standing Up for What You Believe In,
Sara

About to Live

My Mema and I when I was two or three :)

My 16th birthday is coming up soon, and all of it has really just made me depressed. I know, I know. I should be so excited because I'll have a car and it means that I'm growing up and all of that, but honestly... it scares me. 

When I was ten years old, I started the count down to my 16th birthday. Every year on my birthday, I would say: "Just six more years! Just five more! Four more to go!". But now it's just a few weeks away. And the college countdown has begun. It worries me so much that in just a few years I'll be gone. And I know I'll never actually come back and live here, my dreams are too big for that, but there are so many people I'll miss. 

As I was looking over the guest list to my party, I got really depressed. Here, on this piece of paper, are twenty people. Some that I don't know that well, some that I want to know better, and then there were the people I've grown up with. The people that understand references to things that happened two years ago, the people who understand references to second and third grade. The guy who never fails to let me copy his geometry homework. :) Thanks Zach, for always enabling me to be the slacker that I am. 

Anyways, as I read over the list, my heart started to feel heavy. All of you that put up with me and this blog, should understand by now that I am a very sentimental person. So just thinking about how many people I call my friends made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside :) 

Thanks, all of you. Those of you that have been with me and stood by me through thick and thin through all of our goofy adventures. My friends mean as much to me as my family does. It took me such a long time to find friends that I knew wouldn't hurt me on purpose. 

Seeing how fast my 16th birthday came around, I have a perspective on how short life is I think. 

In fifteen years, where will we all be? Will we be happy? Will I still talk to my best friends every single day? Or will I have new friends, and will I only see my high school friends at reunions? I refuse to accept that. 

I won't ever replace you. Sure, I might have more friends, but you will always be so special to me. 

Especially my very limited group of girlfriends. We've been together through acne, crushes, rejection, the occasional stalker. You've seen my hobbies grow into passions, and you were with me when my guitar teacher made me sing. You all knew how scared I was :) I remember how terribly my back was shaking when I got up on "The Sacred Stool" that first time. It probably looked like I was crying :) 

But now I'm over that. Sure, I still hate getting up in front of people, and I hate public speaking, but I'll work on it. The point is, I love you guys. I know it must have been a real challenge to get me to talk when you first met me, but that's how I guess I'll always be. I've always been guarded, but with all of you I'm not. 

Paige, Elizabeth, Dylan and Kimberlee, you've all seen sides of me that most people haven't and I'm so thankful for that. I love having friends who love me even if I have a horrible laugh, easily lose my train of thought, skip through topics at random, and even when my alter ego shows up. 

So here's to hoping that in fifteen years, when I'm living in Australia and working on my latest novel, we'll talk every week :)

Peace, Love, and Generic Party Invitations,

                                                                   Sara

It's Time to Change: Kony 2012

Some of you may have seen a video on facebook called: Kony 2012.
You may have been invited to join a group called "Cover the Night".
You may have wondered about why the organization behind all of this is called The Invisible Children.
Did you look into it? Did it make you angry?
I know it made me angry.

I know most of you reading this won't actually watch the 30 minute video, but I'm telling you now that it won't be a waste of your time. In fact, it's a great way to spend thirty minutes of your life. Many of us have no idea what it would be like to live in these circumstances. We don't know what it would be like to be taken away and forced to murder those that we love. But that is exactly what is happening in Uganda. And we can stop it.
When was this last time you were a part of something this big? I know I never have.
This is a cause using technology and social media to end a war. How amazing is that?

People are growing closer together. We have ways of getting the word out about whatever we want through the internet. Let's use this amazing technology to our advantage! Let's make an impact on the world as a whole!
I urge you, fellow bloggers, readers, friends, family, and everyone else to take a stand for peace. We can make a difference because we have a voice.

Above is the video. I know it's lengthy, but it's very moving.

On April 20th people will take action. Everyone is encouraged to cover their towns with Kony posters and get the word out about his crimes. We need him captured.
On Saturday morning, the world will wake up to these posters and they will know. Don't hesitate, become part of the movement now by doing any of the following:

• Blog about it. As bloggers, we know how important and inspiring our voices can be. Our voices may be small, but we can make a difference. Re-post this blog post to facebook! Make Kony visible. 
• Sign the pledge and take a stand!
• Join your city's Cover the Night event on April 20th. If no one's heard of it, make a group for your city on Facebook! Let's get this snowball rolling!
• Get the Kit: Buy the action kit and get to work! We have to spread the word.
• Change your facebook profile picture or cover photo to one of the pictures featured in this post.
• Donate to Tri. It's the site for the Invisible Children. 
• Pin the posters ALL OVER PINTEREST! :)
• Tell your friends, tell your neighbors, tell everyone. This is the start of a generation with bright ideas for a bright future full of change for the better. 

I know I might seem a little enthusiastic, and it's because I am. Nothing makes me more excited than seeing this many people coming together to fight for peace. It's times like these that make me proud of the human race. Because it doesn't matter who you are, or what your political stance is, it's obvious to see that this has to be stopped. Why not this year?

Peace, Love, and Making Evil Men Famous,
                                                                      Sara

Vultures

Don't you love the days when you pull out a pack of gum at school (very discreetly of course) and within no more than five seconds, everyone seems to know you and your pack of gum personally?
It happens to me all the time.
But fear not, good readers! There are many ways to stop this problem. The way you go about ending this madness is more about personal preference than anything else.
Before you decide to take action, you should probably learn a little bit more about the actual vulture.
Below is a list of the top three most common Gum Beggars you may run into in life's many adventures.

• Buddy-Buddy-Bugs-You: Probably the most famous type of gum pack offender. These are the people who do the entire act of pretending to be one of your good friends in order to get some gum. These are not to be confused with the actual Best Friend Vultures who can use the best friend card to have a piece. Common phrases used by this group include, "I promise I'll give you a piece tomorrow" and "Pretty pretty please with sugar on top?" 
• Pity Stare:  This sort of person will find your weaknesses and use them to their advantage. Compassionate person? They'll use the Pity Stare. Essentially, whenever a pack of gum is opened in front of them, they use their biggest asset: the eyes. Suddenly, you have to feel just a little bit sorry for them. You think of all the times you may have said something rude to them and you think, What the hey! I'll just give them a piece. They are a very dangerous type of vulture, and should be avoided at all costs.
• Teleporters: These are both the most uncommon and the most obnoxious of all the vultures. They seem to appear out of thin air at the very sound of a gum wrapper being opened. It's almost as if some sort of instinct is deeply embedded into their DNA that allows them to know where gum is located. They don't have to know you, and you don't have to know them, but they will find you. 

I recommend a variety of choices while dealing with these monsters.

1. Always carry a small water spritz bottle with you. When they ask for gum? Squirt them with it. Easy, simple, and it works with cats as well. Although, cats don't generally try to take your gum from you.
2. Begin to make very strange, gargling noises. Not only will they wonder what's wrong with you, but if the noise is done correctly, they may be scared out of their mind. 
3. Just say, "MEHHHHHH?"  They'll leave quickly, trust me.
4. For the more violent type, I suggest keeping a small pouch of pebbles on hand. No one likes having a handful of pebbles thrown on them.
5. Pepper spray.
6. Just say NO! 

Sadly, these people do exist. They pray on those who actually remember to buy gum and make their lives miserable.
Please, stop the torture. Reach into your pocket and for just a few hundred dollars a month, you can be the voice of those who fall victim to this behavior. Put an end to the madness.

Peace, Love, and Random Posts,
                                                        Sara

The Recurring Nightmare

For a while, I've been having a nightmare that is always based around the same subject: I'm pregnant with a baby that isn't entirely human.
I'm famous for having very bizarre and vivid dreams, and this dream that continues to haunt me some nights, is one of the strangest. Depending, of course, on how you determine strangeness.
The dreams in this area are always very closely related. Here is how this dream always works:

1. I wake up and find that my left side is sort of swollen towards my hip. 
2. I ignore it, and continue doing whatever it was I was doing before.
3. It starts to swell larger and when I look at it for the second time, I can see the faint outline of a sort of embryo. (That part always freaks me out because of course it's a dream and I always think it's really happening.) 
4. I watch it, and as I do, both the swelling and the embryo grow larger by the second. 
5. I can, at that point, see the outline of a baby's body pressed up against the inside of my skin.
6. I don't know what to do, so I start to panic.  
7. The baby-thing somehow moves from the inside of my side, to the outside. It is still in sort of a film and it clings onto my side. 
8. This part changes. In some of these dreams, something kills the baby-creature-thing. In one of the dreams, it's my friend Kimberlee that tears the umbilical cord accidentally and kills it. Sometimes I fall and the baby-thing dies. Other times it lives past this. 
9. In this dream, the baby-creature lives. 
10. It sort of breaks free from the film thing that is around it, and I catch it before it falls. 
11. In this dream, it had a head full of black hair, and was about the size of a toddler. A very sickly toddler with pale, greenish skin and bony limbs. 
12. I brought the baby-thing into my mom's room and ask her how this has happened. She always tells me that it's an unexplained medical mystery, and we can't keep the baby-thing. 
13. So in this dream, I set the baby-thing on the floor to play with a toy, and notice that his toes are sort of curled and more like claws. His fingers are the same. When I glance over at him again, as my mother starts the car, I notice that he is now a small black dog. (Any of you who would like to try to figure out if this dream means anything, have at it.) 
14. I load the dog into the car, and my mom drives out to a very large field bordered by neighborhoods. 
15. She tells me to let him go, and I do. Some part of me is sad to see the baby-dog-thing go away though. 
16. As it runs off, it changes into a cat, and the last thing that happened in the dream I had Last night:
17. I scream after it, "Jersey!!!" 

Yep, my dreams make no sense folks. No sense at all.
Like I said before, feel free to interpret that however you will and leave what you think it could mean in the comments below :)

Peace, Love, and...WHAT ARE THEY FEEDING ME?!
Sara

The Possessed Trashcan

I apologize for not having blogged in a very long time, you'll all just have to try and forgive me :)
Last night, as some of you may have already read on Facebook, I won the audience favorite at a songwriter's contest in Franklin. Needless to say, I'm ecstatic about it! Especially because after I performed, a lady gave me her card and asked me if I would be interested in playing at her coffee house. I believe the answer to that is a big fat YES! :) Later this week I'll call her and fill you in on how that goes :)

My schedule has been so filled lately, I'm so stressed out over everything that's going on right now, but it's not all that terrible. All I really have to worry about is meeting the deadlines for my English paper and finish reading Huck Finn (basically) by Friday.

I know I'm hopping around from topic to topic in no particular order, but I feel like I have to let all of you know what's been going on with me even though most likely, none of you care and would rather me get on to the actual post. Pretty much, what I would like to talk about in this tiny little paragraph, is how stupid guys can be. Yep, guys are stupid, and we all know this. Now that so many people I actually know in real life read my blog, I feel like it's necessary to shut out a lot of my personal life that would have normally been written out very lengthily for all of you to read. Honestly, I just don't want to have to answer any questions about who exactly I was referring to when I said blah bleh blah. So instead what I'll do, is just post what I was going to say today on Friday. it really makes no difference, but oh well.

Now on to the post.

Last night was incredibly fun, even though I did feel very nauseous for the first half. The great news is that I think I'm slowly getting over my stage fright. Turns out I really love singing and playing in front of people, it was just a matter of facing my fears :)  The best part to me, is right after you start playing or singing or whatever, and everyone just stops talking. It's pretty awesome when they applaud of course, but that one second when no one's really saying much, that's my favorite part.

At the restaurant, there was a very possessed trashcan in the women's room. It had a motion-detector , but somehow it had gotten messed up. From the moment I opened the door, the lid of the trashcan just kept going up and coming down. It was on the second trip to the bathroom (my bladder has issues) that I named this comical trashcan Franklin. Hey, I had to keep the nerves away somehow...right?
Anyways, right after opening the door, Franklin was all like, "Hey! What's happenin', Soul Sister!" (but really the only sounds he made was *chick, whir, snap*). Yeah, me and Franklin really hit it off. Honestly, that trashcan probably has more sense than most people I know.
Oh well, sorry for this incredibly pointless, stupid, awful post. I'll get back to my regular posting eventually, next on my agenda is to write another post for MU. :D

Peace, love, and talkative waste-baskets,
                                                                   Sara

Anger Towards Ignorance

I'm very sorry that I haven't had time to blog in the past few days, there has been so much going on!
Before I get into the actual post, I'd like to share with all of you a few things that are happening in my life right now.

1. My first post as a Teen Columnist was published on Miss Unlimited last Friday! *Happy cheers*
   You can click the link to check it out! You Don't Have to Have a Boyfriend
2. The title of my blog post is very ironic due to certain things that I will tell you about later :) Possibly...
3. Tomorrow night, I'm playing at a cafe as part of some sort of songwriter/singer competition thing. I'm pretty nervous, but I'm really excited! 
4. Once again, I'll be single on Valentine's day. But fear not! I'm totally cool with it :) (even though, admittedly, a boyfriend would be nice to have sometimes). 
5. This Friday is going to be really fun considering that--eh, just re read number 2. And ponder it, good readers! Nah, just kidding, don't get your hopes up. 

Okay, now on to the actual post.
Most of you have heard about the two boys who were brutally murdered by their father not too long ago.
You may have also heard about their funeral being protested by the same people who protest soldier's funerals. Their reasoning? They thought that the reason the boys had been murdered had to do with Washington state legalizing same sex marriage. Now, there are all kinds of things I would love to say about these ludicrous, moronic protesters, but my message in this blog has always had to do with acceptance and peace.

It's these people right here that call themselves Christians. I'm sorry, but if being a Christian is all about hate, strife, and blame, you can count me out.
How can we, people as a whole, move towards being at peace with one another? It's quite easy actually.
All we have to do is accept one another. All we have to do is have compassion, a gift these imbeciles clearly don't posses.
As I was looking for a picture of one of these protesters to put on this post, I almost started crying.
How can mankind be so cruel to others? How can people hate whole groups of people that they know absolutely nothing about?
What do these protesters expect our country to do to protect ourselves if we don't have a strong military?
Stand by and watch as America is slowly destroyed? (By the way, these are the same ignorant people that went around saying President Obama was the anti-Christ. Yep, that's how ridiculous they are.)
Our soldiers fight and die so that we can have freedom of speech, and what do they use it for?
Spreading the message of hate. The protest the people who made it possible for them to protest in the first place. How's that for irony?
I feel so sorry for these people. I am so truly sorry that they have no emotions other than negativity.
They obviously have no lives, all they do is protest and sign petitions and sue people.
Honestly, I think they're too scared to accept the fact that the world has real problems. You can't exactly blame everything on people who are gay, lesbian, bi, etc.


Protester one: How're your crops doing this year Billy bob?
Protester two: Not too good, Joey...not too good.
Protester one: You know what? I betcha I know exactly what the problem is.
Protester two: What?
Protester one: It's them filthy gay's. There's so many of them these days..I'll tell you what, God's out to punish all of humanity for their evil ways.

There are a few things I love about my generation, and one of them is that people are becoming more and more open minded. If these people had a lick of sense, they would know how to research. You see, since the dawn of time there have been people who fell in love with people of the same gender.
Both the Greek and Roman Militia actually encouraged homosexuality among their troops. Why? Because a soldier was more likely to fight hard to see his lover again, than to fight for his country alone.
To me, the Christian God, (who is portrayed as a loving, kind, and caring God), would never hate people for loving who they love. People fall in love with other people.
It doesn't matter what skin color, it doesn't matter where you come from, it doesn't matter what your background is, and it certainly doesn't matter what your gender is. People fall in love.
I hope to see a future where people can marry whomever they choose. I hope to see a future where marriage is seen not only as a bond shared by a man and a woman, but by two people so madly in love that they fight prejudice in order to stay together. I want a future where people can love freely.
I swear, if I was president, I would be assassinated. That's what happens to people who want to change things.
I have a friend, not sure how I'm friends with him when he thinks this way, who believes that being gay is a conscious decision. I have one thing to say to him: Is falling in love a choice? Do you wake up in the morning and think to yourself, I know who I'll fall in love with today? Or does it just happen?
And that's how I'll close this post.
I want to thank anyone who actually made it all the way through this very lengthy post, and I want to thank all of my wonderfully open minded readers.

Peace, Love, and Kindness,
                                           S'Moores

Where the Cameras Weren't

This is a picture (not of the day that I talk about in this post) of my brother and I playing in the front yard of my old house after a big rain had come. 

One of the strongest memories I have of my childhood, was a single day in a thunderstorm.
My brother, grandfather, and I were standing in my grandfather's garage. The door was open, rain splashed off the driveway and into the carport. It smelled like bricks, grass, and summer. The three of us just stood there.
We stood, and watched as the rain fell down on the concrete.
I don't know how old I was, I know that I was pretty young. Probably about six or seven.
When it rained, the water would pool in the small dips in the yard. My brother and I always loved to splash in them, and that day, we decided we would swim in them.
Now of course, the water was not even close to deep enough to be able to swim. It was just a little over a puddle. But we sat down in it anyways, and we splashed and we played and we laughed.
My grandmother came out of the house and told us : "Be careful, now! If a snappin' turtle bites you, he won't let go 'til thunder rolls." People say that where I live, I'm sure they must say it other places as well.
Wet grass clung to my hair, I had mud all over me, but that was one of the best days. I have so many other days to tell about, but I'll save those for another day.
If I could go back in time and take pictures of days in my life where I felt truly alive, I would go back to this day first. I would take a picture of me and my grandfather and my brother, standing in the opening of that garage watching the rain. I would take a picture of me and my brother, covered from head to toes in mud and wet grass, laughing like maniacs.

Peace, love, and memories of happiness,
                                                                 Sara

Time for Tag

Stephanie, the author of a blog called Pandora, tagged me with this award :)

First of all, thanks Stephanie for saying what you said! 

Sara, because she has a Sweet voice and rocked it at her school's talent show!

After being tagged, the rules are these: 

1. Post seven random facts about yourself
2. Tag ten other bloggers.

Random Facts 

1. I am an English and Literature nerd.
2. I love underwater photography.
3. I write in any spare time that I have in Biology (when I should be paying attention). 
4. Sometimes I have to urge to punch every idiot I see in the face. Pow, right in tha kissah.
5. I've never been in love, but I'm not desperate for a boyfriend. Teenage guys are pathetic, I suspect that the first actual boyfriend I'll have won't be until college.  
6. I listen to bands that no one's ever heard of around here.
7. I really hate country music. With a passion. 

Tags

1. Maggie Steifvater, is one of my biggest inspirations. Her blog is hilarious, and so I give her this award!
2. Koas, I understand that this award is quite girly, but I'm giving it to you anyways British Buddy! I've not known Koas for all that long, but as a fairly new blogger, he does a good job :) 
3. G-Fish, If there is one blog that always makes me laugh, it's this one. Sometimes, it has me in tears.
4. The Smartness, This is a great blog, and it makes me laugh :) Basically, if your blog makes me laugh or think, I'll love it :) 
5. I know, I'm suppose to tag ten, but I have got things I want to write about right now! I'll finish this at a later time :)

Peace, Love, and Procrastination, 

                                                     Sara

Today=Surprising

Today was the high school talent show. I didn't plan on signing up to begin with, but my friends talked me into it. So I finally gave in.
There were so many great acts today! When I heard that it would be judged, I decided not to care. I figured, Meh, people in the audience will judge me anyways, who cares about the judges?! I'm not in this to win!
And it's the truth, I was in it just to conquer my fear of singing, standing, talking, etc. in front of a whole bunch of people. And I have to say, when it was over, I was proud of myself.
I'm so hard on myself most of the time, but seeing the way people reacted, I don't know how to describe it.
It made me so simply happy that there were this many people acknowledging that Quiet Sara is actually more than Quiet Sara. (If that makes any sense).
And when I was up there, I forgot. I forgot about the hundreds of students, teachers, and parents watching me. I forgot about the lights that were blinding me. I forgot about everything. It was just me in my room, singing my brother to sleep. I wrote that song originally when my brother asked me to make up a song that was happy and sad at the same time. So I tried my best, and came up with this :)

When I was done with my song, so many people stood up and gave me a standing ovation. I thought I was going to just start crying right then and there. I've always loved singing, and when I got up there today I was listing things in my head that I had to redeem myself for:

1. Choking on my own spit while singing the National Anthem in front of all the veterans. 
2. In sixth grade when one of my "friends" said, "You aren't all that good at singing." 
3. Being so nervous while singing Blowing in the Wind for the guitar show, that I had to physically hold my own arm to keep it from shaking. 
4. Those awful youtube videos I posted (they are now deleted) from when I first started wanting feedback. I'll remake them at a later time. 
5. "Why would you post videos of your singing online?" Thanks for that, by the way. It gave me the anger I needed to get up there and sing. 

When I left school early, my phone started blowing up. "You did so good! I had no idea you could sing like that!" And then, my phone dinged again. When I opened the message? I found out that I had won.
I won something. 
I couldn't even sit still for about thirty minutes.
At the game tonight, people kept coming up to me and congratulating me. It was surreal.
I'm quiet. I tend to like staying unnoticed.  But today everyone seemed to see me. It was quite frightening, to say the least. But a good kind of scary :)
Don't  ever let anyone hold you back, do what you want and don't be too hard on yourself! Sometimes, you just have to accept the compliments. I learned this the hard way :)

Peace, Love, and Nervousness,
                                                  Sara