Today=Surprising

Today was the high school talent show. I didn't plan on signing up to begin with, but my friends talked me into it. So I finally gave in.
There were so many great acts today! When I heard that it would be judged, I decided not to care. I figured, Meh, people in the audience will judge me anyways, who cares about the judges?! I'm not in this to win!
And it's the truth, I was in it just to conquer my fear of singing, standing, talking, etc. in front of a whole bunch of people. And I have to say, when it was over, I was proud of myself.
I'm so hard on myself most of the time, but seeing the way people reacted, I don't know how to describe it.
It made me so simply happy that there were this many people acknowledging that Quiet Sara is actually more than Quiet Sara. (If that makes any sense).
And when I was up there, I forgot. I forgot about the hundreds of students, teachers, and parents watching me. I forgot about the lights that were blinding me. I forgot about everything. It was just me in my room, singing my brother to sleep. I wrote that song originally when my brother asked me to make up a song that was happy and sad at the same time. So I tried my best, and came up with this :)

When I was done with my song, so many people stood up and gave me a standing ovation. I thought I was going to just start crying right then and there. I've always loved singing, and when I got up there today I was listing things in my head that I had to redeem myself for:

1. Choking on my own spit while singing the National Anthem in front of all the veterans. 
2. In sixth grade when one of my "friends" said, "You aren't all that good at singing." 
3. Being so nervous while singing Blowing in the Wind for the guitar show, that I had to physically hold my own arm to keep it from shaking. 
4. Those awful youtube videos I posted (they are now deleted) from when I first started wanting feedback. I'll remake them at a later time. 
5. "Why would you post videos of your singing online?" Thanks for that, by the way. It gave me the anger I needed to get up there and sing. 

When I left school early, my phone started blowing up. "You did so good! I had no idea you could sing like that!" And then, my phone dinged again. When I opened the message? I found out that I had won.
I won something. 
I couldn't even sit still for about thirty minutes.
At the game tonight, people kept coming up to me and congratulating me. It was surreal.
I'm quiet. I tend to like staying unnoticed.  But today everyone seemed to see me. It was quite frightening, to say the least. But a good kind of scary :)
Don't  ever let anyone hold you back, do what you want and don't be too hard on yourself! Sometimes, you just have to accept the compliments. I learned this the hard way :)

Peace, Love, and Nervousness,
                                                  Sara

And now, I'm happy

Finally, on the day after Christmas, I'm feeling great. And know what the funny thing is? I think one of the reasons I was feeling all messed up had to do with my relatives that were visiting. I love them to death, but after a few days, I just want to have the house back to normal.

Today, I feel excited for a few good reasons :)
One: I have a great new Nikon camera and I'm heading into Nashville later. What does that mean? Pictures of total strangers, that's what. One thing I really love is urban photography. I have plenty of nature to take pictures of around here, but what I really want to experiment more with, is photos of people in the city.
Two: I have combat boots, something I've wanted for a while!
Three: I can now play the ukulele, and it's great! I've already written a song with it :)
Four: I'm just in an awesome mood!

If you read my last post, then you might be confused by my seemingly fast mood swing.
But hey, that's just how I am. I doubt anyone in my family even noticed anything different.

Well, I'm getting off because, I have one last reason adding to my amazing mood.
I've now written so much more on a story that I had previously stored away to write later.
I know all of you have seen me start stories, get so excited about them, and then give up. But this time, I think I'm just going to finish it no matter how much it makes me mad.
I feel connected to these characters more than any of the characters I've written in the past, and I really want to see them through until the end.
If you click on the "Songs" page, you can see the playlist for the novel I'm working on. But I encourage you to wait until later tonight, because I'm going to edit it quite a bit.
Because, since I've been revising the original idea, the plot has changed.

Peace, love, and Word Processor,
                                                        Sara