Great News

Well, it seems as if I have some awesome news to share with you guys :D
As of now, I'm going to be guest writing for Miss Unlimited! It's a website for teenage girls that talks about really anything. And I love it!
You can look for my first post on February 10th :)
And I already know exactly what I'm going to write about, but guess what? I'm not telling any of you.
Yep, because that's how I roll.
I'm especially excited because, not only is this an awesome opportunity to get my message out to more readers, but it's also a way to make more connections in the blogger community.
Also, G-fish (author of The Life of a Goldfish Lover) is going to be a guest writer too! If you haven't read her blog, you definitely should. She's funny, and I always end up laughing at her posts.
Yep, that is the awesome news I had to share with all of you. I got asked to be a guest writer on an actual website. To me, that's a pretty big deal. :)
Because you all know how much I love to write, you know how opinionated I am, and you know how I love to talk to other bloggers like me! MAN! THAT WAS A REALLY LONG SENTENCE!
Sorry for not using my inside voice, but I hear the sound of a Gigi's cupcake calling my name downstairs.
OH! And before I forget, tomorrow is Say Sara, Saturday! And I need questions :) So send them in! I won't publish the post until reallly late tomorrow, so you have plenty of time.

Happy early New Year's everyone!

Peace, love, and crap loads of frosting,
                                                            Sara

The Sobriety Checkpoint

As we were leaving from grocery shopping tonight, a lady stopped us on the way out of the parking lot.
"If you're going that way," she'd said,"there's a sobriety check point." I was the one in the driver's seat, because I have my permit, and I felt a little offended by this. Why would you want to warn someone of a sobriety checkpoint anyways? The whole point is to get drunk drivers off the road and make it safer for everyone.
So my dad, in the passenger's seat looks at the lady like really? and says, "I think we'll be just fine." She smiles and walks away and I pull out of the parking lot.

So I'm freaking out.

Why? Because I'm me and I freak out about everything. I mean, growing up with a dad in law enforcement, you'd think I would be totally calm around cops, right? Wrong. Again, because I'm me and I get nervous easily.
Not like the fidgety sort of nervous, mainly just the aw crap, oh God, help me Oprah Winfrey, sort of nervous.
Anyone else catch the Ricky Bobby reference? :)

Anyways, we drive on down the road, and sure enough, there's a ton of police cars and deputies lining the streets. All the lights were flashing, making it look like some major crap was going on. But it wasn't really, just a regular check for DUI.
So I finally make it to the deputies, and I have my permit all out and ready. I've got this! And then the officer, who was really nice about everything, didn't even ask for it. They apparently didn't have to ask for it in the checkpoint unless they thought the driver might be under the influence.
He said, "Hope y'all have a safe New Years!" and then sent us on our way.

And so I cranked up Noah and the Whale, and I was calm again. :)

It was definitely a good experience though, I learned that I can hold it together when I feel like I'm under pressure. Turns out that this time, there was really no pressure at all. I was just freaking myself out over nothing :)

Peace, love, and blue lights,
                                           Sara

The Passing of Time

Last semester, we were suppose to be finding quotes about time. I found a quote that really stuck with me, but when I showed my friends, none of them understood it.
It seems pretty obvious to me, but I want to share it anyways, and I want to share what it means to me.

“Clocks slay time... time is dead as long as it is being clicked off by little wheels; only when the clock stops does time come to life.” 
― William Faulkner, The Sound and the Fury

Some of you may be scratching your heads in confusion, so I'll do my best to explain what he meant by this.

We look at clocks everyday.
Essentially, most of us live our life according to those ticking hands.
They tell us exactly when we need to leave, how long we can sleep before work or school, and what time our dates will be picking us up. So therefore, time is dead as long as we are watching those little hands tick off the moments in our lives. Everyone still with me? Or do I just sound like a rambling idiot?
But, time comes to life when we aren't looking at the clock. When we aren't going by it's precise measurement of time, we find ourselves living.

I want to challenge all of you to do something that seems crazy.
Live a whole day of your life without the assistance of a clock. 
I know it sounds crazy, and maybe it sounds downright insane, but I want to do this as well.
So what are you waiting for? Cover up all of those clocks, stay away from the computer and go have and adventure the first time you get the chance!
Life is short and it's up to each of us to decide how we want to spend it :)

Peace, love, and Hello Kitty alarm clocks, (yes I actually have one)
                                                                                                         Sara

Pieces from my school reports

I've decided to share with all of you, a few parts of a report I did for school.
I'd like to point out that I got an A+ on this. For those of you reading in other countries that don't use the same grading system, an A+ is really good. :) The reason I'm telling you what grade I got may seem a little weird. But trust me, when you read these, you'll understand why I thought it was necessary.

Here is an excerpt from an essay over dreaming and sleep. This particular part, was talking about discoveries in dreams.

Stephanie Meyer claims that the idea for Twilight came from a dream, but I think she must have been reading Anne Rice novels right before bed, because her idea wasn’t original at all. Thanks to her, there has been a huge downfall in young adult literature.

I’m not even kidding either. Anyone that has ever been to the YA section of a bookstore will have a hard time finding a novel that isn’t entirely vampire related.

That was off topic…oh well. 

This next part is from the same essay, talking about Hypnagogic Hallucinations. 

Auditory hallucinations are very common though. Once, I was falling asleep and it sounded just like someone whistled in my ear. It wasn’t like a melody, it was that whistle that you do when your dog Spot is taking a crap in the neighbor's yard and you want him to run back home like nothing ever happened. 

On the importance of sleep.

When you sleep, your body rests itself, and when you wake up in the morning, you feel refreshed. On the other hand, you wake up to the sound of an obnoxious alarm clock and immediately hate the world and everything in it. Because it’s five o’clock in the morning, and you have to go to work. Or, in my case…High school. 

My own personal favorite, talks about sleep deprivation and what it does to your immune system.

Sleep deprivation can even weaken your white blood cells, leaving you very vulnerable to Little Johnny’s sneezing germs. Not the tiny little sneezes, but the sneezes that make you thank the Lord that you weren’t standing within fifty feet of that kid as he shot that snot rocket right out of his nose. Yeah, that kind of sneeze is the kind of sneeze I’m referring to. 

My goals for the day

One: Successfully make spaghetti that is edible.
Two: Write three more pages on the novel.
Three: Make a new header for the blog.
Four: Finish the song I started writing last night.
Five: Dance like a crazy person on Just Dance 3 for the Kinect.
Six: Go to bed at a reasonable hour.
Seven: Finish the work for Honors English II

:) 

Well, that's what I have planned for the day. Hopefully I get most of it done.

I can't decide if I like the new look or not. What do you think? Should I keep it like it is? Or should I make it into a simple, white template?

Peace, love, and indecisiveness,
                                                   Sara

I don't like to share

You know, I really don't like having to share things. Not like books and stuff like that, I don't care about sharing those kinds of things. But when it comes to sharing my space, I don't like it.
When my relatives visit, I always get stuck sharing a bathroom with someone else. Which once again, would be totally fine if they just respected my space.
Yes, you may store your crap in my bathroom for a few days. No, you may not throw my towels on the floor to make room for your own because it's my bathroom.
In a nutshell, that is how it is. And I am not a happy camper.
But, the relatives are gone, the Christmas decorations are back in the attic, and life is back to normal.
My blog is back to the happy posts that I love :)
And, at the moment, I'm eating Jolly Ranchers chews. Life is always great while eating Jolly Ranchers.

Since I gave the blog a new look (which I'm not that happy about right now), I added a page. It's called "Say Sara," and it's basically a place for readers to ask questions or ask advice.  Go ahead, check it out!

Peace, love, and awesome blog readers,
                                                              Sara

Friends: The family I got to choose

I, am very awkward.
And I embrace this.
It takes me a while to be close friends with someone, and sometimes that gets on my nerves. But in the end, I guess it's really a good thing. All that means, is that I wait to see if the person is really someone I can trust.
Sure, I laugh like a dying whale, but somehow I still have awesome friends.
And in this post, I'm going to tell about my four closest ones.

Paige: One of the reasons I love Paige so much, is that she's never afraid to say what's on her mind. That girl can go off on people that make her mad. She's got this stare (I like to refer to it as the Stare-o'-Death) that makes anyone shake in their boots. Except me. By now I'm used to the Stare-o'-Death. The best way I can describe that look, would be a crazed killer who is about to cut your heart out with a very dull spoon.
She gives this look to anyone who has made her mad. Like anytime I bring up the incident involving a squirrel running across the road. Splat went that squirrel right across the highway. That's funny, if Paige could see me right now, she'd be giving me that look. But I know she thinks that this is funny, so I don't care :)
Paige always has my back, no matter what and I have her back too. I just wished she lived closer...The whole twenty feet I have to walk to her house gets pretty tiresome.
Me and Paige, we're like two ninja assassins, fighting off all the idiots of the world. Okay, maybe that last part was a little ridiculous, but I'm tired. Who cares.

Yeah, yeah, I know what you're all thinking. Good God, Sara was a nerd way back then too! But, that's me and Paige from the summer of third grade I think :)

This picture, is from last summer :) Top row: Kimberlee and Paige. Bottom row, Elizabeth and me.

I just got really tired, and so my three other friends are going to have to wait their turn. I think I'll just go to sleep right here... On this nice.. soft... keyboard..

Peace, love, and death stares,
                                                Sara

Knocked Askew...is getting a make over

Attention! The jumbled mess you are now gazing upon, will all be fixed by tomorrow. So come back then if you can't take all of this confusion! 

I know, I tend to switch up templates and change my pages a whole lot.
But 2012 is upon us! It's the start of a new year, which means that my blog is getting a make over :)
And it's going to be awesome :) What can you look forward to? (or not look forward to, I don't think anyone but me actually cares) A whole new look, less pages, simpler layout...yada, yada, yada.
The new year is going to be awesome! And I don't even want to give away some of the upcoming post topics :)
Partly, because I want you all to be surprised, and partly because I don't even know if some of them are actually going to happen :)
I'm starting to build a few connections with other bloggers, and I want more people to get involved!
So when the make over happens, you can be sure that the new blog will be very interactive.
I want to hear your voices! And I'm so happy that a few of you seem to always be interested in what I'm blogging about.
With that said, I'm going to get back to work on the new Knocked Askew :)

p.s. When I typed in "yada, yada, yada", it corrected it to "Yoda". Ha... Star-wars..

Peace, love, and HTML codes,
                                                  Sara

And now, I'm happy

Finally, on the day after Christmas, I'm feeling great. And know what the funny thing is? I think one of the reasons I was feeling all messed up had to do with my relatives that were visiting. I love them to death, but after a few days, I just want to have the house back to normal.

Today, I feel excited for a few good reasons :)
One: I have a great new Nikon camera and I'm heading into Nashville later. What does that mean? Pictures of total strangers, that's what. One thing I really love is urban photography. I have plenty of nature to take pictures of around here, but what I really want to experiment more with, is photos of people in the city.
Two: I have combat boots, something I've wanted for a while!
Three: I can now play the ukulele, and it's great! I've already written a song with it :)
Four: I'm just in an awesome mood!

If you read my last post, then you might be confused by my seemingly fast mood swing.
But hey, that's just how I am. I doubt anyone in my family even noticed anything different.

Well, I'm getting off because, I have one last reason adding to my amazing mood.
I've now written so much more on a story that I had previously stored away to write later.
I know all of you have seen me start stories, get so excited about them, and then give up. But this time, I think I'm just going to finish it no matter how much it makes me mad.
I feel connected to these characters more than any of the characters I've written in the past, and I really want to see them through until the end.
If you click on the "Songs" page, you can see the playlist for the novel I'm working on. But I encourage you to wait until later tonight, because I'm going to edit it quite a bit.
Because, since I've been revising the original idea, the plot has changed.

Peace, love, and Word Processor,
                                                        Sara

A Dance with No Music

That's how I'm feeling right now. But, I promised that the next post would be a happy one, so here goes nothing.
And when I say this one will be happy, I think I just mean "happier" than the past few posts.

Ah Christmas, the one day every single year that I turn into a big ball of crazy emotions.
It's not that I have anything against Christmas, it just always makes me feel bad.
I feel like I don't deserve any of the things that my family and friends give me. I feel like whatever i gave them isn't nearly good enough.
Christmas also always has a way of making me think to much. Especially about past Christmases.
When I was small, on the night before Christmas, I could hardly ever sleep.
I was so excited about Santa coming  into my house and leaving me presents.
I always left food for his reindeer.
When I got older, and I learned that there isn't really a Santa, I still got to relive those feelings watching my brother get so excited.
But now, we both know.
And the magic that once made Christmas my favorite day of the year, is gone.

So now, every year, I think back to those Christmases and I mainly just feel so sad. Or maybe, I feel old.
And I know that might seem strange to some of you. How can a girl who is only fifteen feel so old?
And I don't know how to answer that question either.

Next semester, everything is going to be so hard. I'll have three End of Course exams. I'll have a ridiculous amount of homework, whereas this past semester I had no homework at all.
I'll probably have to learn how to study; something I've never been able to do.
So on top of all of these holiday feelings, I feel stressed out over 18 weeks that haven't even happened yet.
Maybe that's just my Anxiety.

This afternoon, I didn't even know what to do with myself. I think I was having sort of a mini panic attack.
When I start thinking ahead of myself, I usually start worrying. When I worry, I get to the verge of panicking.

My granddaddy always makes me feel sad, but I admire that man for who he is. He grew up so poor, and he worked so hard to be where he is today. And he's getting old.
Every Christmas, I see the way he looks at his family and it makes me sad. God, I think everything makes me sad. And the funny thing is, I'm an extremely happy person.
But, like everyone, I can't be happy all the time. Just like I can't be sad all the time.

My family and friends have given me so much. Not just material things, I could care less about those. I mean sure, it's nice to have them, but every year I'm just so happy to have my family all in one place.
My family and friends love me even on my bad days. They love me for who I am, and I couldn't be more grateful for them. 

This post has made zero sense. It's been all over the place, there was no plot, and nothing about it was happy.
But I guess blogging is a lot like writing songs. I don't ever get to choose whether or not the song is happy or sad, it sort of seems to just choose for itself.

Peace, Love, and Nikon cameras,
                                                      Sara

Love and Loss

Last night I spent the night at Paige's house. This morning, Elizabeth got a message from her sister saying that someone had been run over by the train. It isn't uncommon around here for people to be hit by that train. In fact, the Chapel Hill Ghost Light, a popular urban legend here, is about a man who had his head sliced off by the train and now spends every night looking for it with his lantern. When I was about seven or eight, we lived in a house very close to the tracks. One day when we went out walking, we saw police cars and an ambulance, the train was stopped next to the place where cars could drive over the tracks. On the tracks, there was a dark black tarp. Now I'm sure that it was a body bag, but then I don't think I really understood. The man that died that day was walking on the tracks when he was hit. He'd been listening to his Walkman. 

Sometime early this morning, a car was crossing over the tracks. They didn't see the train coming and it smashed into them, throwing the car completely off the tracks. When the police got there, they had to cut the bodies out of the car. The bodies belonged to a grandmother and her eight year old grandson. The grandmother and youngest brother of a boy that is in my grade. 

I know that my last post was a sad one, and usually I try to have equal amounts of happy and sad posts, but sometimes life gets in the way of that. 

I talked about how empathetic I am in the last post and a good example of that happened today.
Because when I told Elizabeth how it happened and she said she was going to cry, I said I wasn't but that I was all very depressing. When she said that, I didn't feel like crying. 

I felt like throwing up. 

What must that have been like? Was the boy in my grade, we'll call him Jerry, awake when they crossed the tracks? Or was he still asleep like we were when Elizabeth got the message. 

It's so close to Christmas time. I can't even imagine how he must feel, knowing that there were so many things that could have been done differently to stop that awful thing from happening. 

His dad died just a few years ago. 

What were the last words he said to either of them? 

God, I can't imagine any of this without feeling sick. 

If my brother died, I would be so lost. If anyone in my family died, I would have such a hard time dealing with their loss. 

Because even though we fight all the time, I would feel so alone without them. 

My mom brought up a good point the other day.

We have been so incredibly lucky to not have lost anyone in our close family yet. 

I've got all of my grandparents. My aunts and uncles. My mom and dad. My brother. 

Thousands die every day, and not a single one of them has been a member of my family yet. 

That makes me feel like a weight is hanging over my head. Ready to drop at any moment, and crush some of the happiness that I've been so blessed to have. 

If my parents died, or my brother died, I don't think I would talk to anyone for a very long time. 

Not really talk anyway. I would be silent. 

I think it would be even longer until I laughed again. 

For someone to die so young, without ever truly living their life... It's just so impossible to comprehend for me. 

It just seems so wrong. 

It seems wrong for some people to have so much, and for others to lose everything. 

I know I'll never understand why things are the way they are, but I really think something is going to have to change in my life. 

Everyday, I am going to write something about my life. Maybe not on this blog, maybe just for my eyes to see. But I'm going to write one thing every day that I cherish in life. 

Moments like that happen every so often. Once, I spent a day down at the river by myself. Just lying on the dock and watching the river flow. 

That put things, if only for a few moments, into perspective for me. 

That river has been flowing for hundreds of years and when I'm dead and gone, it will probably still be flowing. 

I don't mater to that river. I'm as insignificant as the little minnows that swim along the banks where the water is shallow. It was just like today, when I heard about how it happened, we were shopping. I started thinking more and more about it. And I looked around. Everyone was going about with their lives. Totally oblivious to the fact that an eight year old boy and his grandmother will never get to see another Christmas. He'll never have another birthday. He'll never get to grow up. 

In the big picture, our lives are so seemingly insignificant. But to each other, we mean so much. 

No one knows the reason we're here, if they did I'm sure they'd speak up. But for whatever reason it is that we live such short lives, I hope I can make the most of it. 

Peace, love, and life, 

                                   Sara

Ponder

Sunset

Lately I've been thinking a lot about how short life is.
My mother's friend's wife just found out that the cancer she'd had years ago has come back. This time the doctors gave her no hope.
You know, we see so much in the media about cancer. We hear about it everyday. But it doesn't really doesn't impact any of us until we have to watch it tear right through some one's life.
It's like the monster we all had hiding under our beds as children. It was so real to us until our parents said it wasn't real at all.
Cancer isn't real to us until it happens to someone we care about.
My great aunt, cousin, and my great grandfather and grandmother all died of different types of cancer. You know, I don't have any real memories of my aunt that I can remember. Just this one when we were on a pontoon boat in Destin. But even that small little fragment is fuzzy. But I remember her funeral.
I barely remember cousin Billy because he lived far away. But I remember his memorial.
I never met my great grandparents on my mother's side, but I've heard stories. Mom says I would have loved them both so much. If there really is something after this life, and I make it to it, I hope I get to meet them.

If I were to find out that I have cancer, and they gave me no hope like my mom's friend, I don't know what I would do. But in a way, I guess I have an idea.
I know that for whatever it was worth, I would never let myself be weak. I would fight ever minute of everyday just to see the next sunrise. The next full moon. My brother's next smile.
I would learn how to truly live.
I would say I'm sorry to everyone I'd ever been angry at. Even if they were the ones at fault.
You know how people always say it's best to live like you're dying? Well, I've decided that anyone who actually achieved that, was really dying.
There must just be something about it; knowing that your days are numbered.
I'd say I'd want to experience that feeling, just to appreciate how truly precious life is, but I don't want to die anytime soon. Sometimes ignorance is bliss, right?
How could you even tell your best friend that you might not live too much longer?
I can't even imagine walking with Paige, and just saying, "I'm dying.". That would break my heart.
Seeing the looks on people's faces. That would be what hit me the hardest. Even if I had come to terms with it, knowing that they wouldn't be okay for a long time, that would get to me.
Just thinking about this sort of thing gets me so depressed. But hey, trying on someone else's shoes is a good thing.
Somewhere, I'm sure there's a girl my age that just found out she has no chance of seeing Christmas. And here I am, warm in my bed, blogging about being in a situation like that when I can't even imagine.
But we've all thought about what it would be like to know that without a doubt, we were going to die. Haven't we?
I think, that if I were dying, I would start giving out a whole lot of advice.
And I would have a few dying wishes too.
I'd tell my mother to finish the latest novel I started.
I'd tell my brother to always have the same laugh.
I'd tell my father where to scatter my ashes.
Aw man, this is making me cry. But what am I saying, I cry over everything. Guess I'm just empathetic like that.
I'd tell Paige to never stop being so kind and loyal.
I'd tell Elizabeth to never lose her goofy personality.
I'd tell Kimberlee go out and see the world for me.
I'd tell Dylan to never let the way people don't see things too clearly hurt him.
I guess I could keep going with this and make it really sappy, but since I'm not dying, I don't see the point.
I feel so sorry for anyone going through something so awful. I feel so sorry for the families affected.
This blog really just came out of nowhere. I Just started thinking about my mom's friend and how much he loves his wife. It really breaks my heart.

Peace, Love, and Deep Thoughts,
                                                     Sara

I've got lot's of friends. Yes, but then again, Nobody knows me at all. ~The Weepies

Block

I've never lacked inspiration. Whether in writing, photography, or music. I just never have. There's always been one more idea waiting at the back of my mind to be written down. Sometimes I feel like I'm sick of ideas.
Too many characters to keep up with at any one time.
But these days, I've just had one idea stuck in my head. The idea for the novel I'm currently fighting to finish.
I didn't reach the NaNoWriMo word count goal, but I figured I wouldn't be able to anyways. And I'm not the slightest bit disappointed. Because I have an idea that I really want to see through to the end.
I looked back over a few of the stories that I had started but never finished earlier, and it made me angry with myself. Some of those stories had the potential to be good books. But because I will never think that what I'm writing is good enough, they all got tossed in the trash.
And this time is no different. It isn't really a wall that I've hit in writing this story, but more of a big canyon that I have to figure out how to cross.
I know what's going to happen in this story, I have since the very start of writing it.
But sometimes, when I sit down to write a few scenes, I realize that there are holes in the plot.
Somehow, I just have to figure out how to fill them up.
And I don't want some stupid mediocre story that anyone could have thought up. I don't want a story that has been told a million times over. I especially don't want a cheesy love story with a bunch of useless drama.
Which is why I take so much time in everything that I write. I want my characters to have substance. I want them to be both easy to understand, and difficult to side with at the same time. I hope that made sense to someone.
I really just want to write a story that sticks with people. I don't want to be the next J.K. Rowling, I just want to write something that touches someone.
And going from the advice of my favorite author, Maggie Stiefvater, when you come to a place when your story isn't making much sense anymore, you should backtrack. Go back to the place in the story where you still had the right idea, and fix it. Even if it means going back to the very begging.
But don't give up.
And so that's what I'll do with this story. I'll keep the parts that make perfect sense, and I'll take out all of the useless information. All of the scenes that really had no impact on the plot as a whole.
That woman is an amazing role model, I swear. If it wasn't for her, I would have given up on this story a long time ago.

Peace, love, and canyons,
                                          Sara

Roads

My brother is my favorite victim when it comes to taking pictures 

The other night, I wrote a song for my brother. It was nothing special, it probably took me about five minutes to write the whole thing. After I had finished playing it for him, he started bawling crying. "Why are you crying?" I'd said. He looked up at me with tears running off his cheeks and said, "Because you only have four years left."
It took me a minute to realize what he was talking about, but then I figured it out. He was talking about college.
I didn't want to tell him that I really only have two and a half years left. "Don't be sad. Sure, we'll get older, but we'll still be the same people." The song had been about growing up and still staying close to your families, even if you do live miles apart.
"But I don't want to ever get older." He said. And so I stuck out my pinky finger.
"Okay then. Pinky promise me that you'll never get old, and I'll pinky promise you that I'll never get old either."

We pinky swore, and then he said, "But we will get old. Everyone gets old."
And I said back to him, "Not everyone gets old. Being old is just a part of the way you think. If you still think like a kid, you still act like one. But you just have to be a more mature kid."
He said, "You really think so?"
and I said, "I really think so. When we're 80 years old, we'll be watching Phineas and Ferb in our wheel chairs."

That whole moment really struck a chord with me.
I've never been scared of dying, I've always been scared of getting old.
And aren't we all?
Aren't we all scared of waking up one day years from now and realizing that we've already lived the better half of our life?
I know I am.

Which is why I think it's important to have so many goals so that you'll always have something to strive for.
I want to see the world. I want to meet amazing people like Olle and Koas! Not saying that you guys aren't unique, (Du är fortfarande inbjuden till kvällsmat när som helst, Olle! Ochjag är fortfarande försöker att inte låta så dum när jag försökerprata på svenska) because you both are :) And you both also have really good taste in music!
Anyways, I want to meet so many new people from all walks of life. From different cultures, religions, etc. 
I really don't care who you are, as long as you have an interesting story to tell. If you've just recently started reading my blog, feel free to comment! I'd love to actually talk to the people that suffer through this. 
You can always contact me at knockedaskew@gmail.com


I have way more topics to cover, but I'll go ahead and post this one :) 

Peace, love, and cool accents, 
                                               Sara 

Near Death Experience

Today was the guitar class concert, but before I get into all of that, I'll tell you about the class.
It's by far the most fun class I've ever been in.
Mostly, everyone in that class is so nice. Everyone has a unique personality, and for the most part, they never get on my nerves.
There's nothing like having a crappy morning, and then going into guitar class to have your ears start bleeding from how loud the amps are. I'm seriously going to be so depressed when I don't have that anymore.
Because, it isn't just a class to me. It's a group of entirely different people getting along thanks to music.
That class gives me a chance to express myself. By taking that class and having such an amazing teacher, I've grown up more I think. It's not that this class is teaching kids to grow up, it's teaching them to grow into your own skin.
Words of Advice Break:
When it comes right down to it, all of us have to just learn to be who we are. During all of that learning and growing, we have to accept that it's really okay to grow apart from the people that are holding you back.
It's not that these people are bad people, it's just that, when you first met them you were the same. Somewhere along the way, you just realized that you want different things.

Back to the main story: I've always loved to sing, but this class gave me the confidence that I needed so badly. Sure, I'm still shy and I don't think I'm that great, but Mr. Bateman told me I could sing. He's one of my most favorite people in this whole world I think :) Aw man... I'm getting all teared up.
Because sometimes, you just have to be made to step outside your little bubble, and go on an adventure.
I never knew I loved to write songs. I never knew I had a knack for just making up lyrics on the spot.
But now I do know. And who knows, I might want to pursue some sort of career in music. The friends I've made in that class are just wonderful. I'm suppose to be writing songs with two of them soon :)
Anyways, I'll tell you a little bit about the concert now.

Right before I got up to sing, I seriously thought I was going to have a heart attack. My heart was beating so fast that my chest got hot. When Micah was done singing his song, I got up and walked to the mic. I couldn't hardly see the crowd because of how bright the lights were, but it was like Paranormal Activity. You couldn't see the demon, but you still knew it was there.
So I'm standing there, waiting on the music to get to the first verse, and my left arm starts shaking.
I don't draw attention to it, I just hold it still with my other arm.
Then my legs start trembling.
I've never been up in front of that big of a crowd in my whole life.
Calm down, that's not your legs shaking, that's just the bass and Alec's amps.
I knew I was just trying to convince myself.
All in all, I think I did alright.
What really surprised me was Alec telling me "You did a really good job", after it was over.
That's the first time he's ever said that. It made me feel better :)

Peace, love, and cardiac arrest,
                                                  Sara

A Few Random Thoughts

•  Foreign friends are really cool, and fun to talk to :)
• I love how a lot of gas stations in America find it appropriate to display condoms over the sinks in Women's bathrooms. (Sarcasm)
• It's not comfortable to sleep between bleachers at school. 
• Our lunch food has absolutely no salt content and is terrible.
• I really love the idea for my current novel :)
• I feel like I should just sleep for a couple of years, then wake up and restart my life. 
• No one should ever feel like anyone is better than them. 
• Seriously, you aren't hot. 
• I have a notebook full of letters that I've written to a few select people, that I never plan on showing them.
• Why is it that some people are so hypocritical and don't even realize it?
• I should take up meditation. 
• It's not that I want people to like me, I just want people to accept me exactly the way I am. 
• I will never marry a republican. 
• I don't see myself having a boyfriend until college. 
• ^ Because, I want something a little more substantial that some stupid fling with a guy that doesn't really care. 
• I don't understand how people that talk so much about peace, can be so obsessed with hate.
• I get tired of the way people act in this town

Peace, love, and gas station condoms,

                                                              ~Sara