Thursday, May 31, 2012

11 More Things :)

Elizabeth from Forever Sunshine tagged me again, but I have to address a very important issue.
My nickname, Cap'n, is Colonel Grasshopper. :)

Cap'n Sunshine's Questions:

  1. If you were to receive 1 million dollars, what would you do? Most of it would go to charities like the ASPCA and WWF. Whatever was left over would go to awesome vinyl records and instruments :)
  2. If you were to lose a body part and never be able to have it replaced, what would you lose? That's easy, my right pink finger.  I need my left for playing the guitar and ukulele :)
  3. If you had to chose one over the other to never see again, would you chose to see you best friend over your sibling? That's the worst question I've ever heard! I consider you and Paige my sisters anyway, so I choose to lose  no one :)
  4. Are you an optimist or a pessimist and why? I'm right smack dab in the middle. Sometimes I see things as  great, and other times I see things for how they really are. Which is crappy. I'm this way because I've had to deal with really difficult situations before in my life and I've learned not to trust so easily. 
  5. What are you willing to die for? Easy question. My close family, and my best friends. 
  6. What makes a true friend? A true friend is someone who is always there for you no matter what. Someone who knows when something is wrong even if everyone else can't see it. A true friend is someone you have twin telepathy with. Two true friends of mine are called Cap'n Sunshine and General Cupcake (since you hate nicknames you can stick with this for one post, Paige.) 
  7. Who is your favorite celebrity and why? Johnny Depp, Zooey Deschanel, Adrien Brody, Ellen Page, and Emma Stone. I'm always (mostly) in love with the characters they play. They all seem like nice people also. 
  8. What is your favorite book and why? Well this is a ridiculously hard question.  I'm going with all of the Harry Potter books. They were a big part of my childhood. I know it makes me even more of a nerd for saying this, but they got me through some tough points in my life :)
  9. Is lying okay Sometimes. Sometimes lying is necessary in certain situations.  
  10. Is Nutella pronounced (new-tella) or (nut-ella)? NUT (The word NUT is in the word) NUTELLA! 
  11. When you die, where are you going? I like to think that I'm going to a good place. I've got some pretty unconventional views on religion, but I like to think that if you have a good heart and you listen to your conscience, then you'll be rewarded somehow. I just think that because there are so many different religions that have very similar concepts, there must be something out there bigger than all of us. But I don't think that any single religion is totally right. I mean just because you aren't the same religion as someone else doesn't mean you're going to hell. If you have a good soul, I think you go to heaven. But, my views on religion are for another post :)
Peace, Love, and Dry Contacts, 

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

11 Things

First of all, I say screw the last post. I don't have time to write a short story by the end of this week! I don't have time to do a lot of things. Because I started working. And by working, I mean babysitting (sometimes it is a very challenging job haha) forty miles away. But hey, the pay is awesome and my car gets great gas mileage.

Stephanie from Pandora tagged me in the 11 Things game. This gives me an easy chance to be a lazy American  once again. :) 
So here are the rules :) 

The Rules:
#1 You must post these rules
#2 You must post 11 things about yourself
#3 You must answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post and create 11 new questions for people you tag to answer
#4 You must tag 11 people to do this meme and tell them on their blog! 

My 11 Things
  1. I'm a very awkward person. Especially in new situations and around people I don't know very well. 
  2. I have a hobby of making cranes. In fact, I make them all the time. 
  3. I leave gum wrapper cranes on the tables in restaurants and wonder if the waiters ever notice what they are. (I didn't feel like combining it with the second one).
  4. My favorite movie in the entire world FOREVER is The Princess Bride.
  5. When I was little, I had a huge crush on John Smith from Pocahontas.
  6. I want to be a child psychologist when I grow up because I want to help children who went through the same types of things that I did. 
  7. I think marriage is about love, not whether the couple consists of a man an a woman. Marriage should be for everyone. End of story. 
  8. Sometimes, I'd like to live on an island alone away from all the idiots. 
  9.  Before I die, I want to say that I have traveled the world and found ten different ways to look at life.
  10. I look forward to meeting two amazing people later in my life; Olle and Koas :) I've known  them since...November? And they make me laugh every time I talk to them. They're the best!
  11. Aside from my foreign friends, I have two amazing chicks in my life who have taught me that I don't have to put up with everyone's crap just to keep everyone happy. 
Stephanie's 11 
and tell them on their blog! 

1. Panda or koala? Panda, because I've always loved them. But, I've always loved both animals :)
2. Would you rather shoot one friend or ten total strangers? That's a terribly hard question. I'd like to say neither, but that would be no fun. If I had to shoot someone in that situation, I'd probably shoot myself. I don't think I could take away anyone's life and live with that. 
3. What's your favorite number? Why? Usually, I say three to this question. But I'm not sure why. One day, I'll figure out a number that means something significant to me :)
4. Where do you see yourself in five years? I see myself in college, studying in a small apartment with a cat, a ton of books, ramen noodles, and (ideally) a boyfriend who loves and respects me. 
5. What is your scariest memory? Hmm, well this is fun :)  When I was in the second grade,  we'd moved to my grandparents house (a house that two people have died in) while our new house was being built. Weird things happened occasionally, but nothing I couldn't handle. Sinks turning themselves on, objects moving by themselves, footsteps in the halls. That kind of thing. One night, well after midnight, I woke with a start but I had no idea what woke me up. We slept with a nightlight because the house gave both of us the creeps. I looked at the open doorway, and my heart stopped in my chest for half a beat. 
In the doorway, was the silhouette of a tall man. It seemed like a shadow, but I saw it clearly. If I never believed in ghosts before that night, that's the night I started believing.   And since then, I've seen plenty more weird things :)
6. Do you like peanut butter? Yeah, sometimes.
7. Would you rather be too hot or too cold? Too cold, because then I would be numb anyway. 
8. Does it annoy you when people point out innuendos? Yeah, sometimes. Especially when it was funnier left alone.
9. What happens when you get really hungry? I turn into a ravenous monster, eating anything mostly edible in my path. 
10. Have you ever broken anything? How? Sure, I've broken loads of stuff. Mostly always by accident, though. 
11. If you could add or subtract a member of your family, what would you do? {E.g., "I would get rid of my psychopathic aunt" or "I would have an older brother."} I would have a really cool girl cousin who was close to me in age who I could hang out with :) I've always wanted a cousin I could be close to. 

My 11 things

  1. If you could only save one happy memory, knowing the rest of your memory would be erased, what memory would you choose? Oh! :) That's a ridiculously hard question that you have to answer. Choose wisely, young grasshoppers :)
  2. What is your ideal fictional character boyfriend or girlfriend? And DO NOT say anything relating to Twilight. If you do, you are henceforth banned from being tagged in any cool blog game :) Haha jk... mostly. 
  3. Favorite movie quote of all time? 
  4. Favorite flavor of candy?
  5. If you had to change your name, what would you change it to?
  6. What is one thing you want to accomplish in life?
  7. One thing you regret and would love to change about your past?
  8. Most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to you in front of a crush? 
  9. One thing you wish you could change about your appearance if anything? 
  10. Do you believe in true love? If so, why?
  11. Favorite type of day?

  1. Ginger
  2. Zeberaunicornasiss
  3. Catharine
  4. Cap'n Sunshine (aka Elizabeth)
  5. Ginge
  6. Conceal Your Thoughts
  7. G-Fish
  8. Izdihër
  9. Rui C.
  10. Kimberlee
  11. I don't feel like tagging I cheat :) 

There you have it!

Peace, Love, and Rollerblades,

Friday, May 25, 2012

Pin-Board Short Stories

I've had an idea :)
Most of us have a Pinterest account right? And a lot of bloggers love to write... so :)
Here are the rules to this little contest:

  1. Create a board on Pinterest labeled, "Pin Board Short Story" or something like that. 
  2. Search for photographs on Pinterest (You can also use quotes) and pin the ones you find striking or interesting to the board. 
  3. When you have at least fifty pictures, turn them into a short story :) The story can even be the first chapter of a novel if you feel extra creative :) 
  4. After you've written the story, post it to your blog and put a link to the post AND to the Pinterest board in the comments! I'm excited to see what everyone comes up with, assuming that anyone actually tries it :) 
I'll be posting mine sometime this weekend or by the middle of next week :) I can't wait to read your stories!

Peace, Love, and Funnel Cakes,

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Let's Talk About Boys...And the Word "Cool"

Boys are idiots but girls have a hard time accepting this fact.
We all want to live in a fantasy land where we get swept away by indie rockers with hearts of gold that don't want to be with anyone but us. Well, at least that's my fantasy land.
But in reality, or at least in my reality, boys are idiots.
I mean, they really are stupid. REALLY STUPID.

And for the occasional boy that reads this blog and is saying right now, "Sexist!", let me plead my case.
I know that not all guys are total idiots. In fact, I'm sure there are a lot of guys who actually have a brain and use it. But for the age group that I'm in, those guys are hard to come by.

And for the record, I'm tired of boys and the games they play. I don't understand why they can't just be straightforward and honest. And for the love of God, please stop using the word "Cool".
Word of advice for any guy reading this right now, delete that word from your vocabulary. I promise you, it'll pay off.
It's a terrible word. Boys think girls are confusing? Ha! Really? Because when I say, "Hey, we're catching a movie later. You should come with us!" and you say, "Cool." all I'm thinking is wth.
What does cool even mean in that context? Is it; "Cool, I'd love to come." or is it, "Cool, thanks for the invite, but I've got better things to do."
It's. Confusing.
So stop it.

Girls want guys who want to be around them. They don't want guys who give shady answers to everything.
Am I wrong in thinking this, girls?

So, from now on I'm not responding to texts with only the word, "cool". In fact I'm taking that pledge right now. Say no to cool!
We're worth more than one word answers, aren't we? :)

Peace, love, and popcorn,

Welcome Back Lazy Days

It's officially that time of year again.
The time of year when freeze dried ramen noodles in convenient Styrofoam cups  become lunches.
The time of year when I wake up at seven only to go back to sleep and wake up at eleven.
It has also, sadly, become the time of year when I stress about my final report card, stress about making it into the dual enrollment program for next semester, and stress about reading the required summer reading for English Honors III and coming up with an intelligent project over both.
Yes, Summer has made it into my household at last.

I hate feeling lazy. I despise it.
And apparently, if I don't wake up before noon and have a cup of coffee while doing something at least halfway productive, I end up feeling lazy for the rest of the day.
Every lazy day that I have, I wish it were raining.
Not only is rain my favorite type of weather, but it seems to get all of my creative juices working in my brain.
I write a lot on rainy days. Sometimes I work on unfinished songs that sit wadded up in the corners of my room, growling at me.

But today I've done simply nothing but eat junk food, read Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter (which is great by the way, I'll have a book review on that later), play Minecraft, and watch sappy romantic movies.

I haven't even looked at the story I've been working on because, quite frankly, I know it will only make me frustrated. The same goes for trying to write a new song or work on an old one that I haven't perfected yet.
The bad thing about this creative block as far as music goes, is that I'm playing at a coffee shop in two weeks. I need more originals.

Ah well, my summer job starts next Tuesday. I'll be babysitting two pretty cool girls about 45 minutes up the road. Sure, a big portion of my pay will go to gas money, but I'm making more than minimum wage. And that's pretty awesome :)
I'm saving my money from this job to be able to travel out of country next summer.
It's about time I started making my dreams pan out :)

Peace, love, and freeze dried noodles,

Monday, May 21, 2012


I realized that my blog post yesterday was a little bit more negative than I had originally planned. But, I can't be happy all the time just like I can't be positive all the time.
You know, so many people are so quick to judge you for what you've done to them. But they never look at the situation from both sides. They never put themselves in your shoes, and they never try to figure out what they've done wrong. That's why real friends are hard to come by.

I live by this philosophy: Never write angry, because you'll most certainly regret your words later.
I think I've tried to live by that since elementary school, when it lost me a friend that meant more to me than I even knew how to express.

Words are powerful. Very powerful.

We've all heard the saying, "Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me." And I say that who ever wrote that was an idiot.
I would much rather have a broken bone than have to hear words said out of anger all day. Because words affect me. They affect me deeply. In fact, if I were a super hero, that would be my weakness.
Because I used to love people. I really did. But then, after I was stepped on so many times, I saw how little they thought I was worth. Those few people thought I was worth.
But in my mind, when I hear just one negative thing that someone's said about me, I wonder if it's true. I know that sounds ridiculous.  You're probably thinking, "How can you not know yourself?"
Let me tell you, I wonder that same thing all the time.

I'm about to let you all in on a secret.

I'm a door mat.
Yep, there it is. That's the secret.
I let people use me and walk all over me because secretly, I just want to be accepted. Luckily, I'm beginning to change that. But I'm making very slow progress.
Sometime soon, I'll  be going to a psychiatrist. Why? Because I have terrible anxiety. And I've already told you this before, but just a brief summary for those who weren't with us. I worry about everything. I worry about things that don't even make sense to worry about. Just because someone looks fine on the outside doesn't mean they aren't breaking into pieces on the inside.
We should all keep that in mind every single day.
There's always a back story.

Back to the point.
I struggle with so many things.
Sometimes, when I hear bad things that someone's saying about me, I tend to believe it. Doesn't matter if it makes sense or not, I just do. And it's stupid.
Sometimes I wonder if I have a good heart, even though I know I do. I know because I have a pretty big conscience that starts weighing me down when I've done something wrong.

Peace, love, and Jiminy Cricket,

Sunday, May 20, 2012

The Twenty Things I'd Like To Say

As I was reading one of my favorite blogs, Pandora, I saw an awesome post idea. And, for the record, she said she didn't mind if her readers borrowed the idea. You all know how I feel about stealing other blogger's ideas and things :)

So, the concept of the post was this: Write twenty things to twenty people that you know you'll never tell them to their face. The only kicker is that you can't say who you're writing about. Although, with the things that I'm going to say, I wouldn't want to release names period.
I also guarantee that those of you who know me personally might think you know who I'm talking about, but will totally be wrong.
Let's do this thing :)
  1. You're a narcissist. I don't think you can even see past how "hot" you are (By the way, you really aren't that attractive) to understand how awful your personality is. I honestly think you're the most fake individual that has ever come into my life and I genuinely feel bad for you. But I know that you think I'm the bad guy. Because that's just the way it is right? But I'm not. I've only ever been  real with you, and that's about 50% more than you've ever done for me. I regret every secret I've ever told you. 
  2. You have no idea how much you affect me. I know it shouldn't be that way to begin with, but for God's sake, would it kill you to be kind? 
  3. I really wish you would open up more and let the rest of the world see that you're actually a good person. Sometimes it's okay to let the walls collapse that you've built around yourself. I can see that they're made of glass as it is. 
  4. You're a wanna-be man whore and I dislike you for that. Thank goodness you didn't like me like I liked you (or thought I liked you) because I saw how easily you looked past me to her. 
  5. Your ego is ridiculously large and doesn't quite mix well with reality. If you were more laid back, I might like you more. But you aren't. Do you realize how hard it is to make a career from that? 
  6. No one wants to hear you sing 24/7, in fact, no one wants to hear anyone sing all day every day. Your voice is nasally, my dear. Very nasally indeed. 
  7. You shouldn't wear your heart on your sleeve like you do. I know it'll come back to bite you in a matter of time. But I promise that I won't say I told you so. 
  8. I wish you would loosen up more sometimes. It's perfectly normal to be crazy :) 
  9. You always go for the wrong guys. I wish you would see that it's worth waiting on someone that deserves you, rather than settling for guys that aren't worth a rat's ass. 
  10. I would trust you more if you weren't a homophobe. I tend to not trust idiots. 
  11. If you weren't so infatuated with her, you might see how fake she is. Trust me, I fell for that once. 
  12. You aren't in love. You've caught a disease I like to call Incredibly Stupid. 
  13. He's a pedophile. Seriously. If you were smart, you would have heeded my warning. 
  14. The people I surround myself with tend to inspire me. You aren't one of them.
  15. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for so many things. For the way they treat you. For they way you live. For the things you've been through. I'm sorry for being blind and forgetful. 
  16. I can't wait until our ten year high school reunion. I'm going to laugh so hard at you. Mentally of course, I'm not cruel.  :)
  17. I admire you for your heart. But lately, you've been less of the person that I loved and more of a stranger to me. 
  18. One day, after college, I might come out and say everything I wanted to say to you, but no sooner. 
  19. We all have problems, you're no better than the rest of us. 
  20. What you lack is compassion, empathy, and understanding. Three assets that are very important. 
So, there you have it. I've done things like this before, but I love it :) There's something awesome about getting rid of all the things that you carry with you. I encourage all of you to do the twenty things list as well, just drop a comment telling me that you did so I can read it :)

Peace, love, and Cheetos stained fingers, 

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

My Jam

The school year will officially be over for me in less than 24 hours. It couldn't possibly be over soon enough. 
I have a math exam tomorrow (that I'm scared to death over) and then it's done. Here I come Junior year :) 
I'll be so happy when high school is finally over. I'm ready to be in college and I'm ready to get out into the world. And by that, I mean traveling. I can't wait to be able to travel all over the world and do crazy things. I love experiencing new cultures and finding new favorite foods :) 

But this post, is about a few songs on my Spotify playlist and on my Ipod that helped me get through this school year. Let's get started :) 

For the first half of the year on long and smelly bus rides (A brief collection):
  • Let Me Go- CAKE
  • Colours- Grouplove
  • Blood- Middle East
  • Kiss with a Fist- Florence and the Machine
  • Song for the Rich- Tristan Prettyman (A particularly great song for rainy days)
  • Six Weeks- Of Monsters and Men
  • Christmas Lights- Coldplay
  • Helena Beat- Foster the People
 For singing at the top of my lungs when I'm by myself in my car: 
  • Glamorous Indie Rock and Roll- The Killers <3 
  • Superstition- Stevie Wonder (I love a lot of old stuff)
  • Spaceman- The Killers
  • Romeo and Juliet- The Killers version
  • Nobody Knows Me At All- The Weepies
  • When You Were Young- The Killers (My all time favorite song...for now)
For dancing around in my pj's/sweatpants when I'm too lazy for real clothes:
  • Just One Look- Doris Troy
  • 2 Atoms In a Molecule- Noah and the Whale <3
  • Pumpkin Soup- Kate Nash
  • Young Blood- The Naked and Famous
  • Little Talks- Of Monsters and Men
  • My Best Friend- Hello Saferide (For Paige) :)
  • Sara Smiles- Panic! at the Disco
  • Young Folks- Peter Bjorn and John
  • Love Blood- Sleeper Agent
  • Chelsea Dagger- The Fratellis 
  • Fluorescent Adolescence- Arctic Monkeys
  • Henrietta- The Fratellis    
Songs that inspire me when I write:
  • New Ceremony- Dry the River
  • I Will Follow You Into the Dark- Death Cab for Cutie
  • O Children- Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
  • That's Some Dream- Good Old War
Peace, love, and a sticking C key, 

Sunday, May 13, 2012

That One Chick That Lives With Me

My mom is without a doubt, one of my biggest role models. She inspires me to stand up for what I believe in every single day. I know that she sometimes doesn't understand me and the things I do, but here's to you Mom. For always helping me get back on my feet after I've had a hard time.

I don't know what she ever did to deserve such strange kids, but she got landed with two of them. The great part about it is; I know she wouldn't trade me or my brother for the world.

This is the woman who taught me how to read, I think that in itself is enough to make a kid love you forever. When you open the door to the world of books for a child, you show them that anything truly is possible. And I know that sounds ridiculously cheesy. And I'm sure you've all heard the "Anything is possible" spiel before. And I'm also sure that some kid who heard it along with you said, "But you still can't fly!" And to that I say, Bull Honkery. When you read a book, you can do anything. You live through the eyes of that character. If they can fly, then so can you. (In your mind's eye of course). My mother taught me that as much as my father taught me that no matter what I put my mind to in life, giving up is not an option. But I'll save that one for father's day.

This is also the very same lady who raised me on R.E.M., The Beatles, Elton John, Green-Day, and Dave Matthews. Thanks for that as well, Mom. Sometimes if I mention an R.E.M. song in class, I get weird looks.
I guess My mother is also to blame for my love of music and instruments. A love that causes me both to be very happy and very angry with myself at times. I vow right here and now to my mom, that if I ever get a bag-pipe, I'll only play it outside. :)

Along with books and music, I think I got the creative gene from her as well. Provided that creativity is in fact something you can inherit. I know I have her stubbornness. Neither one of us are likely to back down from a fight when the other person or group of people are clearly in the wrong. We could be a great lawyer team, my mom and I. Honestly though, I'm still banking on hitting it big as a bounty hunting duo.

Sure, me and my mom fight sometimes, but we never stay mad at each other for very long. Even though she wouldn't want to admit it, I know that we're friends. But not in the way that you see some trashy parent and her 14 year old going to get matching tramp stamps. Nah, we're the English nerd friends who try to see who can stump the other with a big word's definition.

So thank you again, Mom. For being there for me through my various break downs. For holding my hand when I cry. For being a positive role model, and for loving me even through my bad days.
I think that Thor Zunior and Tonalucc would be quite proud of you. :)

Peace, Love, and Chopsticks,

Thursday, May 10, 2012

This Kind of Day

There are good days, and there are bad days, and there are I-Don't-Even-Know-Why-I'm-Sad days.
For me, today has been an IDEKWIS day.

And I hate it.

Sure, I could blame it on hormones, my lacking in optimism, or my recently terrible anxiety, but I choose to blame it on all three.
Which is why, I happen to be holed up in my room eating a Kashi granola bar and a Popsicle, being sad for a lot of different reasons. And most of them are very stupid reasons to be sad.
And so, to express my stupid emotions, I'll write a stupid poem.

Today I'm the broken package, 
That gets stuck at the back of the shelf, 
And no one wants to take it home, 
So I mostly blame myself.

Today a lot of people annoyed me,
To a very great extent, 
To the point where I wanted to run away, 
And live all alone in a tent. 

In this tent I'd have an Xbox,
So whenever I got bored I could play, 
And if that doesn't work, why I'll play in the dirt! 
Like a little kindergartner might say. 

I'd also have some pets, 
To make my hobo career more legit, 
And when it gets cold, and I start to get old, 
Many warm sweaters I'll knit. 

So you see, I might be broken in some places, 
Like an old music box, 
I falter and miss notes here and there, 
But never have I lost the keys to the locks. 

I'm tired now, and have tent pitching to do, 
And so with these few words I'll leave you, 
Never, never, let them push you down, 
In this way they'll deceive you. 

Peace, love, and Talking to British Buddy, 

Monday, May 7, 2012


I took this picture at the Bay House :) I love it there! 

In the morning, I play loud music to wake me up.
In the car on the way to school, I play loud music to get me ready to face all of the idiots.
In the halls, all I hear is the chattering of nonsense and pointless discussions.
In the car on the way home, I play loud music to celebrate living through another day filled with crazy people.
At night when I go to sleep, I turn on my fan so that it's droning sound sings me to sleep.

Our lives are filled with noise. Every waking hour seems to be purposefully interrupted by a cacophony of familiar rackets.
And I don't understand why.

Why do we, as humans, feel the need to bridge the gaps of silence with words or other sounds? Are we too scared to listen to only silence?
Maybe the reason we do this, or the reason some of us do this, is to keep our ears busy. Maybe we just don't want to think.

What if once, every single day, we gave up on noise and sat only in silence. Just to think. Just to process everything that happened in that day. I think our world would be much more peaceful. It would probably also be much more intelligent. I probably wouldn't have to sit in honors English and wonder why over half the class was too stupid to read the novel that was due that morning.

Our societies great downfall, in my opinion, will be the lack of in depth appreciation for the arts.
Throughout history, there have been great thinkers. People who had an idea, and ran with it for as long and far as they possibly could. There were people who stood for things they believed in. People who asked things like, "why not?". And now, those types of people seem to be an endangered species.

Our lives are so centered around noise and meaningless tasks such as playing on our IPhones, or Xbox's, that we've forgotten how to live.
Life isn't meant to be spent staring at bright screens, it's meant to be spent living.

So, I encourage all of you to take an hour out of your week, and sit in silence. I don't mean silence as in no sound period, I mean silence as in minimum human interaction. Just be still and only listen to your thoughts.
Be a thinker and a dreamer. By all means, don't be like half the kids in my honors class that don't understand anything remotely intelligent.

Peace, love, and Nerdisms,