Monday, September 5, 2011

Laughter, pee, and tears

For the funny part of this post, read the top half. For the serious part, read the bottom half.

Today my mom, brother, and I went and saw The Help. Greatest movie I've ever seen, I cried harder than Titanic. In fact, I cried half the way home. Anyways, the movie will not only make you bawl, it'll also make you cry laughing. About half way into the movie, my bladder was about to pop. The movie was so great though, that I didn't want to miss a second of it. So I waited until I thought I was going to have a pee explosion and tried to get up. Anyone else here know the feeling that when you have to pee so bad it hurts to even move? Yeah, well, that's how it was. I casually stood up, although I was standing a little hunched over on a count of my bladder being full to the brim. Do bladder's have brims? Not likely, but you get the point don't you? I half staggered, half dragged myself down the aisle to the stairs. And all I could think was, Oh dear Jesus, anything but stairs. 
Even though I thought I might end up peeing a little with each stair I took, I eventually got to the bottom of the stairs. And if my luck could get any worse, there was a particularly funny part in the movie happening right then. So I stood in the little alcove so that I could still see the screen. Sure, I was doing my signature potty dance and there was a theater worker walking in through the door, but who cares? I was going to see that funny part! Right as the punch line was said and the room erupted into laughter, including the theater guy who was now standing beside me, I couldn't laugh as hard as I wanted. Why? Because if I had, I would have had to ask the theater guy if there was a way he could sweep up my accident. I doubt that's possible. Unless of course you get that stuff that looks like red pop rocks. That stuff is cool :) The irony of the situation was that the joke I'd stayed to watch? Was about.... toilets :)
I dragged myself out the door into the lobby and nearly tripped on the freshly mopped floor and eventually made it to the bathroom. I think I might have looked at that toilet like it was the Holy Grail and I'd been the one to discover it because I wasted no time in getting right into that stall.

On a more serious note, that movie (and book) was so moving. It really made me ashamed to be a white person. Maybe just a person in general. Because looking back at every history lesson I can remember, people have always found a reason to hate other people. Be it their religion, skin color, sexual orientation, etc. We're terrible! And those of us who are all for peace on earth and all of that, half of those people are full of crap! Some people are all like, "Let's save the starving children, but after we eat we should definitely drop a nuke on that country we don't agree with." Yeah, way to be a peace lover.
I just love me some ignorance! And let me tell you, being one of the few democrats in a southern town, I see a whole lot of it. Which is why I identified so much with Skeeter from the book. She was a strong woman who wanted to be a writer and write for what she believed in. Way to go Emma Stone, you really rocked in this movie. :)
With all that said, I just wish that all of the ignorant people who say they hate ignorance would open their eyes and see the big picture. Why hate and say we love? Why not take a risk in standing up for what's right?

Peace, love, and toilet bowls,


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