Comment and let me know which one you liked the most :) I love feedback from readers! All I'm asking is that I get to keep my own ideas. I know it must sound silly, but it's happened to me before and i didn't appreciate it at all. I don't care if they inspire you, but they are my ideas alone. So don't steal!
Excerpt #1
“Let’s go, sis.” she forces a smile and takes his hand. He hauls her to her feet and for a faction of a moment, we just stand there looking at each other. This could be the last time any of us see one another. At any moment during the run, one of us could die.
We have a rule that has only been brought up once: Every person for themselves.
I don’t know how true that would hold in the event that something were to actually happen to one of us. I know that Mason will always try to save Harper, even if it means risking his own life in the process.
No one will die to save me.
I nod once and look towards the thick dark forest directly in front of us. Behind us, steadily creeping overhead, is the craft. “Time to run.”
Excerpt #2
The thing bared it’s teeth and I stared in horror at their serrated edges.
It would not take long to finish me off.
The creature began to moves towards me, seemingly silent besides the sloshing of the water that had now risen to almost half way up my shins if I was standing. It covered my lap completely and I wondered if I could swim with a broken leg.
Gray light filtered down through the leaf covered netting above and glimmered dully against the dirty water.
Leaves, dirt, and blood covered my once pure white dress and I wondered absently how much washing it would take to get it clean again. It was just like me, I thought, to be more worried about my dirty gown than the fact that my life was seconds from being over.
I wouldn’t have time to wash it.
The creature’s coarse black hair was wet as well and it was shaking. I could see all of it’s ribs pressed against it’s skin. It’s spine stood out on it’s back. It was starved. And I was dinner. It started to move towards me, white teeth standing out against it’s dark black coat.
When it was about a foot or so from me and I could feel it’s breath against my face, I noticed the creature’s eyes.
They were undeniably human.
Excerpt #3 * Probably one of my favorite stories that I've ever written, I know I'll come back to it eventually :) It is definitely one of my most creative ones considering that I had to create an entirely different dystopian society. My favorite thing to write about are corrupt societies after all :)
Something green grasps my attention and I stop paving. “Look, Petra!” From a tiny crack in the concrete to my left, sprouts a tiny sprig of bright green grass. It is the first time I’ve seen grass in almost a year and a half. She smiles and watches as I crouch down to touch the small thing that to anyone outside of Toam is insignificant. To me, it means the world. It reminds me of a feather as I barely touch my calloused finger to it. My dry lips feel like they might split open as I grin. For the first time in so long, I have something to hope for. This single blade of grass surrounded by barriers, symbolizes my life in Toam.
The life that with any luck, will change soon.
Excerpt #4 This excerpt occurs in two parts because this story is told from two different points of view. You've probably seen the first one on here once before, but not many of you have seen the second one.
Mallorie: The strange boy hummed a song softly. The melody was more melancholy than sweet and it filled the silent night air with music. I was starting to become more aware of my surroundings. We were still in the forest, but I could hear the sounds of a highway; maybe we were close to town. Somewhere in the woods, a coyote howled. The sound was high pitched and lonely. It blended perfectly with this boy’s song.
Zane: She made no sound as she cried, I think that was what truly made it the saddest. She was clearly in pain, but she didn't express it in the ways that I had seen so many times before.
She held a hand over her mouth, as if trying to hold in a scream growing inside her. The tears fell freely from her eyes. Tiny crystals in the light from the rainy day. Even when she cried, she was beautiful. Beautiful in the way that a burning building is in the rain. A quiet chaos.
Excerpt #5 This same exact story line must be written five different ways on my laptop, two different ways on the Monster upstairs, and once on the family laptop. It's just one of those ideas that sticks with you but you have no idea how to best say what you're trying to convey. Does anyone else know what I mean by that?
“I have decided that you have to choices, Mr. Whitmore. We can kill him, or we can abandon him. He is of no use to us anymore.” Mr. Whitmore hung his head. “Then the choice is easy. We kill him.” The other men shook their heads. “No, he has promised not to do anything else…reckless. We owe him a second chance.” Mr. Whitmore laughed a strained laugh and looked at the other men. “You see that’s the thing Howard.” He said in the direction of Mr. Roland. “I’m not a fan of second chances.” He pulled out a shiny black object from his pocket and held it up to the other men. “Thank you for your service.” He said before he shot either of the men in the head. The gun made a tiny sound and Hannah reasoned that it had a silencer, but Hannah was too afraid to reason much, especially as Mr. Whitmore lowered the gun and shot at the crumpled form. There was no noise after that, except for the small sound of Mr. Whitmore’s shoes quietly hitting the stone ground beneath.
Excerpt #6 I really love this story :) Although I hit a stump and never made it past the fourth or fifth chapter, I really loved both characters. I'd love to finish this one day. Actually, the same idea of the "x" has been a recurring one. It shows up in several of the stories that I've mentioned above.
A slight popping sound came from his left, the side nearest to the tree itself. The smell of burning sulfur filled his nostrils and he fought the urge to cough.
A skeletal man with a long wooden pipe looked at him and smiled. A wicked, toothless smile that did nothing to change the appearance of his hollowed out face. “Time’s ticking son. Do you want to be here when it runs out?” the man rasped in a voice that sounded like the wind blowing across fallen dead leaves on a grave.
The man laughed a soft, crackling laugh that sent chills up his spine. Delano’s eyes, or rather, where his eyes should be, glowed softly. The empty eye sockets seemed to be lit by some inner fire that Aidan could not comprehend. The branch began to creak under the weight of the two men and Aidan became worried. More so than before.
“That’s my cue, son,” said Delano looking down at the girl who now had the boy’s shirt on, “You know the rules.” Delano bent to where his toothless mouth was next to Aidan’s ear and he pressed a bony hand on the back of his neck. “Please don’t…I don’t have to be…I can do this…” Aidan stammered, unable to contain the bile rising in his throat. “It has to be done child.” whispered Delano, holding up a skeletal index finger and tracing a long X into the skin on the back of Aidan’s neck. The bone burned into his neck and he clenched his teeth. He would not show weakness. He knew everything that the mark meant. Everything that it allowed.
Excerpt #7
“I need you to give this to someone.” He said, holding out the paper again. It was yellowed with age. A large tear ran along the side where it appeared to have been folded a few too many times. She adjusted her apron as she waited for him to continue.
“It’s very important that you pay attention Claire.” The waitress snapped her head up. She felt for her name tag. There wasn’t one. She remembered that she had lost it yesterday. She was suppose to have Dan, the manager, replace it.
“Good. There is a boy, not much younger than you, that comes here every Wednesday night. His name is Asher Byrne. When he comes here tonight, give him this letter. Remind him that summer starts next week. He’ll understand.” Claire inched back a step. Everything about this man gave her the creeps. “I’m sorry, sir. I’m not really suppose to do that. The post office is just around the corner if you need something mailed.” Anger flashed in the man’s eyes.
Excerpt #8
“Corvina.” Delano hissed into the darkness opposite the porch. A shadow seemed to step out of the trees to join him. “You called?” said the raspy voice of a woman who was hidden beneath a long black cloak that seemed to reflect what moonlight was visible through the thick clouds. “I did.” replied Delano.
She stepped further from the trees and he gasped as she lowered her hood. Her skin was as pale as the moon and her eyes seemed to be as black as the night sky. She had no irises. Only pupils made up her eyes. Her black hair spilled around her shoulders in loose curls and under her arm she carried an empty basket.
“You know the price?” He nodded gesturing to Samson’s dead body lying at the foot of the wooden steps.
“Taken care of.”
she smiled and revealed two rows of pointed teeth that looked as sharp as knives.
“Well then we should finish this then.” she said eyeing Samson’s corpse again. “We won’t be finished for awhile. This is only the start.” She nodded grimly and carefully stepped over the body in her flats.
Excerpt #9
I was kneeling in front of a rusted toilet. The lid was up and I held my hair back with my left hand. My right hand pushed against the wall in a futile effort to keep me steady. The nauseous feeling that nagged at me everyday was worse today.
I gagged and vomited into the toilet and then gagged more.
“Oh bless your heart, I’m sorry Mallorie, I’m just…I broke up with James and I haven’t been myself all day. Forgive me?” I rolled my eyes. She was lying. James had dumped her last night because he caught her making out with his best friend Mark behind the dumpsters of the Jones Diner. I knew exactly how it had gone down. It had been on an endless loop in Amy’s head for two days now.
I knew what had happened word for word.
I stared straight ahead at the pale yellow concrete wall and tried to catch my breath. My mouth tasted horrible and I just wanted to go home. Anywhere but here was preferable.
It was the first day of our Senior year. What a wonderful way to kick it off. “Yeah I forgive you Amy, just go on to class. I’m going to the nurse.” I lied, but she would never know.
She hesitated a moment longer, not because she was torn between staying by my side and going to class, but because she was stuffing her bra with more paper towels.
I waited until the sound of her heels clicking on the linoleum was far enough down the hallway before I curled into a ball and leaned heavily against the wall. At that point, I didn’t care what kinds of bacteria and diseases could be lurking on the floor, I just cared about having something solid behind me and underneath me for support.
Excerpt #10 Here's an excerpt from the current story I'm working on :) Definetly my favorite story I've ever written :) I know that some of the terminology is confusing considering that when I create a new society for a story, I have to create the slang terms as well. Tell me what you think!
Someone is in the alley with me. At first, I don’t turn around because for all I know the person might be a milkeye and if they are, they won’t hesitate to jump me. So I keep walking. My black sneakers slap cross the wet pavement softly. The person follows silently, but the hair on the back of my neck stands on end. My fingers twitch towards my knife, but I clench them into a fist. Always keep a low profile. That lesson is true even here, in this dark alley where I’m being pursued by only one person. Rain clatters noisily from a rusted gutter and pull my hood lower over my eyes. I’m almost to the little door when I hear a small cough from behind me. I freeze.
Every muscle in my body tenses, ready to either run for my life to the little black door that symbolizes everything I value most, or turn and fight.
“Sonah,” I put my hand on the knife resting in my coat pocket, “they’ll find you. You can’t keep running to every Site club in the city like this.” I knew that voice all too well. I should have known. I bite my bottom lip until the taste of copper fills my mouth. “How long you been following me, Nite?” I say his name quickly, as if I’m trying to get rid of it.
I focus on the corroded door handle. The rain is letting up some, but it’s still enough to make me wish for an umbrella. “Since you killed that milkeye.” That had been this morning. By now, his blood is dry beneath my finger nails.
Out of the sixty or so stories on my laptop and the twenty or more on the Monster, I hope you liked these ten. :)
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