Monday, August 29, 2011

Chocolate, spiders, and alcohol

My brother planting a nice chocolate kiss/mustache on my dad's head.  

Today I went to a chocolate party with my mom. Yes, there actually is such a thing and it's probably the greatest thing ever invented... EVER.
So I filled my plate up with chocolate and everything else there just about and it was wiped out ridiculously fast. Don't get me wrong, I only went back up there to reload on some of this spicy chocolate dip that can go with anything, but when I came back to my seat, I realized that I had just completely stocked up again.
I sincerely went up there with good intentions, I was thinking all like, Yeah! A few carrots and some more dip..don't mind if I do... But then... I saw the cheese.
I am a sucker for cheese, and chocolate, so I got a few cubes of cheese. But then I saw the fondue dip.
This little deal went on for a while until my brain was all like, What happened to just a few carrots, Sara? Which is why I went back to my seat knowing that I had done the right thing.
At one point during the party, the chocolate person made chocolate martinis and was walking around seeing if anyone wanted unleaded.
She looked straight at me and said, "Unleaded or leaded?"
Me: "I'm fifteen, so..."
Chocolate lady: "Oh my gosh! I'm sorry! You look a lot older!"
Me to my mom: "That's the second time something like that has happened in the past three months."
Mom: "At least this one didn't assume you were a school teacher."

After the many fattening snacks were devoured, and my favorite kid to babysit ever (Megan, you might remember her from this post) had given me an awesome duct tape bracelet, we went home and I got in the shower.
Well, I was about to get in the shower when I realized two things:
  1. It is generally not smart to leave a flat iron plugged in for very long periods of time
  2. There was a gigantic spider in my tub.
Now of course since I have a fear of spiders, I'm exaggerating... just a tad. But I'm not kidding, this spider was the size of a half dollar. You guys know by now that I'm no sissy girl, I don't care about mud and dirt and painted nails or even snakes. But me and spiders? We aren't exactly friends.
So I screamed. Not like a crazy-lady-who-sits-beside-me-in-spin-class BFBCC (Burp Fart Battle Cry Combo), but it was a pretty decent scream. I ran down the stairs and told dad to kill it and got this response: "Man up and be a girl!" Yes, because that makes so much sense.
So he kills it, by washing it down the tub's drain.
The entire time I was in the shower, I was staring at the drain half expecting to see a radio active spider crawl up from the black hole and bite me. Of course, then I'd be spider girl which would be pretty freaking awesome, right? :)

Peace, love, and radio active spiders,

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